The Little Brown Jug at KildareNicholson, Meredith
General
The Little Brown Jug at Kildare
Nicholson, Meredith
Fathers and daughters -- Fiction; Governors -- Fiction; Humorous stories; North Carolina -- Fiction; South Carolina -- Fiction
"Mr. Ardmore"--and Jerry pointed at him with a bronze paper-cutter to
make sure of his attention--"Mr. Ardmore, if you ever imply again by
act, word or deed that I winked at you I shall never, never speak to you
again. I should think that a man with a nice sister like Mrs. Atchison
would have a better opinion of women than you seem to have. I never saw
you until you came to my father's house to tell me about the jug--and
you know I didn't. And as for that Barbara Osborne, while I don't doubt
that even in South Carolina a Daughter of the Seminole War might wink at
a gentleman in a moment of extreme provocation, I doubt if she did, for
she lacks animation, and has no more soul than a gum overshoe."
The obvious inconsistency of this pronouncement caused Ardmore to frown
in the stress of his thought; and he stared helplessly along the line of
the accusing paper-cutter into Jerry's eyes.
"Oh, cheer up!" she cried in her despair of him; "and forget it, forget
it, forget it! I'll say this to you, Mr. Ardmore, that if I ever winked
at you--and I never, never did--I'm sorry I did it! Some time when you
haven't so much work on your hands as you have this morning just think
that over and let me know where you land. And now, look at these things,
please."
"What is all this stuff?" he demanded, as she tossed him a pile of
papers.
"They refer to the application for pardon of a poor man who's going to
be hanged for murder to-morrow unless we do something for him; and he
has a wife and three little children, and he has never committed any
other crime but to break into a smoke-house and steal a side of bacon."
"Did he shoot in self-defense, or how was it?" asked Ardmore judicially.
"He killed a painless dentist who pulled the wrong tooth," answered
Jerry, referring to the papers.
"If that's all I don't think we can stand for hanging him. I read a
piece against capital punishment in a magazine once and the arguments
were very strong. The killing of a dentist should not be a crime anyhow,
and if you know how to pardon a man, why let's do it; but we'd better
wait until the last minute, and then send telegram to the sheriff to
stop the proceedings just before he pulls the string, which makes it
most impressive, and gives a better effect."
"I believe you are right about it," said Jerry. "There's an old pardon
right here in this bundle which we can use. It was made out for another
man who stole a horse that afterwards died, which papa said was a
mitigating circumstance; but the week before his execution the man
escaped from jail before papa could pardon him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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