The Little Brown Jug at KildareNicholson, Meredith
General
The Little Brown Jug at Kildare
Nicholson, Meredith
Fathers and daughters -- Fiction; Governors -- Fiction; Humorous stories; North Carolina -- Fiction; South Carolina -- Fiction
It is in the telegram alone that we Americans approach style. Our great
commanders did much to form it; our business strategists took the key
from them. "I propose to fight it out on this line, if it takes all
summer" is not more admirable than "Cancel order our number six hundred
and eighteen," or "Have drawn at sight." Through the most familiar and
commonplace apparatus clicks and ticks the great American epic in
phrases concise, unequivocal and apt. Von Moltke, roused at night with
news of war, merely waved his hand to the long-prepared orders in his
chiffonier and went to sleep again; but the great Prussian has his
counterpart in the American magnate who ties up a railroad by telegraph
over his after-dinner coffee. Telegrams were, however, with Mr. Thomas
Ardmore, something more than a form of communication or a mere literary
exercise. Letter-writing seemed to him the most formidable of human
undertakings, but with a pad of telegraph blanks under his hand his
spirit soared free. All untrammeled by the horror of the day tariff,
whose steep slopes have wrought so much confusion and error among the
economical, he gave to the wires and the wireless what he never would
have confided to a stamp. He wrote and submitted to Miss Jerry
Dangerfield the following:
To the Sheriff of Dilwell County,
Kildare, N. C.:
What is this I hear about your inability to catch Appleweight and
the rest of his bunch? Your inattention to your duties is a matter
of common scandal, and if you don't get anxious pretty soon I shall
remove you from your job and then some. I shall be down soon to see
whether you are pitching quoits at the blacksmith shop or fishing
for lobsters in Raccoon Creek, instead of attending to your
knitting. Your conduct has annoyed me until I am something more
than vexed by your behavior. The eyes of the great North State are
upon you. Wire me at length just what you propose doing or not
doing in this matter.
WILLIAM DANGERFIELD,
Governor of North Carolina.
"What do you think of that?" he asked, his pride falling as she scanned
the paper carefully.
"Isn't it pretty expensive?" Jerry inquired, counting the words to ten
and then roughly computing the rest.
"I'll take care of that, Miss Dangerfield. What I want to know is
whether you think that will make the sheriff sit up."
"Well, here's what father sent him only about a week ago. I found it in
his private letter book, and it's marked confidential in red ink."
She read:
"'Act cautiously in Appleweight case. Indictment by grand jury is
undoubtedly faulty and Foster threatens trouble in case parties are
arrested.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account