British -- France -- Fiction; French -- England -- Fiction; Love stories
“You are severe. You have never felt a great passion, that is evident,”
madame Vervier observed. “The feeling he had for me was so different
from the feeling he had for Toppie that infidelity was hardly in
question.”
“Hardly in question? Don’t you see that it shut him away from her for
ever?” Giles’s voice was dark with grief. “Don’t you see that a man who
chooses one kind of love turns his back on the other?”
“Not if he is strong enough,” madame Vervier, with her mildness,
returned. “Your brother, I think, gained in strength from our
friendship. We pay, it is true, for most things in life. It is painful
to have a secret from the heart nearest ours; yet one need not regret
one’s secret. I believe that Owen would have been strong enough not to
regret. Strong enough”—madame Vervier, while she dropped the quiet
phrases kept her faint smile—“not to grow to hate me because he could
not tell Toppie how much he had loved me.”
Was it true? Giles wondered, sitting there before her, his head bent
down while he stared up at her from under his brows, frowning and
intent. Could Owen, ever, have been as strong as that? And would it have
been strength? No; madame Vervier might have armed him against remorse;
but she did not know Toppie. Toppie’s radiance would have fallen back,
dimmed, startled, from the presence of the thing hidden yet operative in
her life and Owen’s. A canker would have eaten; bitterness and darkness
would have spread. Either her radiance would have withdrawn from him,
or, beating too strongly at his defences, it would have discovered all.
Dismay, devastation would have broken in upon them, and if Toppie could
still have forgiven it would have been with a sick and altered heart.
But he could not talk to madame Vervier about Toppie. The strange thing
was, as he saw Toppie’s radiance, that he felt himself safe from the
torrent, and that he began to understand madame Vervier.
“You think of yourself as very strong,” he said suddenly, and in their
long silence he could see that something of her security left her; it
was as if she felt the approach of an unexpected adversary. “You think
you can do as you like with life. You’re not afraid of life; and that’s
rather splendid of you—if I may say so. But it’s never occurred to you
to be afraid of yourself. And the time might come, you know, when you’d
be carried away, too.”
“Carried away?” madame Vervier repeated. Her voice was altered. She was
unprepared. And in her momentary confusion it was with haughtiness that
she spoke.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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