British -- France -- Fiction; French -- England -- Fiction; Love stories
Maman schemed. Maman, with all her grace, her generosity, was oh! so
practical. “And our people eat the blackbirds,” thought Alix while the
song, as she listened to it, brought Giles’s face vividly before her.
Jerry was like a goldfinch—golden flashes, summery sweetness, swift
eagerness, and gay inconsequent song. Giles was the blackbird; its
tenderness, its trust, its something of heaven and something of drollery
too; and the way it brought long-past things back;—again; again;
again;—brooding on the past with persistent fidelity. Faithful Giles;
he would never forget. And why did the thought of goldfinches merge into
this surreptitious aching? How strange it was that one should feel the
anxious pressure of a new thought before one saw the thought itself!
Goldfinches; Les Chardonnerets; André de Valenbois; she traced the
sequence. Jerry made her think of André; only he was not so finely
tempered; not so intelligent. But the thought of André was only a pain
and a perplexity; whereas Giles believed her to be in love with Jerry;
she had seen in his eyes that he believed her to be in love; and perhaps
she was; only it was round the problem of worth that this new ache was
centring. There must be so much worth on the one hand if, on the other,
it was France that might have to be sacrificed. And Jerry was like the
goldfinches. “Worth,” she thought, listening to the blackbird’s song.
The word was such an English word. She loved the blackbird’s song, best
of all, she said to herself, trying to turn away from the still
half-unseen trouble.
Suddenly, behind her, she heard Giles’s voice speaking her name.
He had come up from the birch-woods; he had not come from the Rectory.
He had been walking; his hair was ruffled with the wind; his shoes were
muddy; he had not eaten; he was very tired. Alix saw all this in flashes
as they approached each other, her mind catching at such straws. For it
was shipwreck that his face revealed to her; so pallid, so haggard, with
dark pinches in the eyelids under the eyes and strange, ageing furrows
of suffering running down from his nostrils to the corners of his mouth.
Could the shipwreck of all his hopes make Giles look like this? There
had been no hope to lose.
He had spoken her name in a quite gentle voice, as if, indeed, he were
glad to find her there; as if she were a haven for what he could drag of
hull and spars up out of reach of the battering waves. He walked beside
her, and said: “Can we get to the study without being seen?”
“They are all out,” said Alix.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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