British -- France -- Fiction; French -- England -- Fiction; Love stories
Then he saw the last of her. She stood leaning on the railing of the
steamer deck, Blaise in his basket beside her, and waved to him until
the blue mist of the April day dissolved her form, and as he saw her
disappear Giles felt a dreadful loneliness. Tame, flat, colourless did
life become to him. The sense of Alix’s presence had been in his mind
like the sense of Alpine flowers brought within one’s own garden
precincts, sweet, strange, yet intimate; like the sense of mountain
ranges on one’s horizon, aloof, mysterious, yet visible. “Beautiful,
darling creature,” he heard himself murmuring as he drove home through a
country that had lost all savour. The loss of Toppie from his life was
like a pervading, half-stupefied aching; but from the sharpness that the
loss of Alix brought he saw how little in comparison Toppie’s going
meant real loss. He had never possessed Toppie. The ache might now be
deeper, but it was still the same ache that the thought of Toppie had
always meant.
He had not seen her. None of them had seen her again. And on the morning
of Alix’s departure they heard that she had returned to Bath. Another
three days passed before a letter came for him. It was short, yet it
brought him more comfort than he could have believed possible.
“Dear Giles,” she wrote, “I think I begin to understand all that
you have tried to do for me. It was wrong of you; but I think I
understand. I have been wrong, too. Perhaps this came to show me
that one can love wrongly. I do not think I love him less now;
only differently. I know that he suffered before he died. When I
read his last letters now, I can see the suffering in them. I
send my love to everybody.
“Always your friend, dear Giles,
“TOPPIE.”
And a postscript, written hurriedly, ran: “Keep poor, brave little Alix
with you.”
Under the dry phrases he read the mastered anguish. But it was mastered.
That was the comfort that Toppie’s letter brought him. She had risen
already above her own sense of personal wreckage and could contemplate
its meaning. As her piercing intuition on the day among the birch-woods
had led her to the portals of the truth, so now it had led her to its
heart. She saw at last, truly, what Giles had done; she no longer
misunderstood him. Even, perhaps, she had begun, dimly, to understand
what manner of woman madame Vervier might be. Toppie was noble enough
for that. It would appease rather than lacerate her heart to believe
that the woman to whom Owen had given his heart was not ignoble.
It was on the morning of Toppie’s letter that Jerry was ushered into
Giles’s study.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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