British -- France -- Fiction; French -- England -- Fiction; Love stories
“But she could not have me there on false pretences, Giles,” said Alix.
The pride had dropped now. It was as if with sudden sadness she saw too
well the reasons for his misunderstanding. “I could not be there on
false pretences. You have a right to think it of me since I have never
told her. But it is all over now; the new as well as the old. I need
never tell her. For I am at home again and I shall never go back to
Heathside.”
“Never come back to Heathside!” Actually for the moment Maman, Owen,
Toppie, all the grief and perplexity that hung about these figures, were
swept from Giles’s mind by his deep discomfiture. “But this is only your
holiday. Your mother’s letter said so.”
“She thinks it is only my holiday. But I am older now. I shall see to it
that I do not return to England.”
Ass that he had been not to realize the _impasse_ to which their talk
was leading them! Too obviously, from Alix’s side, this was an
inevitable decision. And Giles saw that from his side it should have
been so, too. With Alix safely back in France, there would be no more
danger of pain for his mother and wreckage for Toppie; Owen’s memory
might sleep in untarnished peace.
But Alix herself had come to count for far too much. It was as if he saw
her walking away into a dark forest where dreadful creatures prowled.
Ever since that day in his study, she had counted for too much. She was
too fine, too brave, too loyal a little creature to be given up to her
fate. He had felt that day that he would fight her fate for her, and he
felt now that the moment had come for the first grapple. But the worst
of the problem was that in fighting Alix’s fate he must fight her. He
could not tell her the fact that would have turned her pride to dust and
ashes. He could not tell her that her mother had sent her to them on
pretences so false that the minor falsity she repudiated paled beside
them. Horribly handicapped as he was for the contest, he seized his bull
by the horns: “Look here, my dear child,” he declared, speaking with all
the elder brother authority he could summon up, “you said to me that day
when we talked that you were going to trust me. Well, I ask you to trust
me now. I want you back. We all want you back. Let that suffice. No;
wait a moment. I know what you are going to say;—if Toppie knew would
she want you? I’ll take the responsibility of answering for Toppie. She
is so fond of you that I know she would. Isn’t that enough, really?
Can’t we leave it at that? And you’re quite right not to tell your
mother. Let the whole thing rest for ever.”
Her eyes were on his while he spoke to her and she listened to him
gently; but her face still kept the invulnerable look strange in one so
young. “You are kind, dear Giles,” she said. “I do trust you. But you
can’t answer for Toppie. You can’t answer for anybody. And I have not
only myself to think of. I have Maman. I _can_ answer for Maman in this
matter. She would not let me come.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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