She was proud of him--a goodly, eye-filling figure of a man to any
woman; but she no longer felt sorry for him. They were right. It was a
game. The race was to the swift, the battle to the strong. They had run
such races, fought such battles. Then why not she? And as she continued
to look, that self-query became reiterant.
They were not anchorites, these two men. Liberal-lived they must have
been in that past out of which, like mysteries, they had come to her.
They had had the days and nights that women were denied--women such as
she. As for Dick, beyond all doubt--even had she heard whispers--there
had been other women in that wild career of his over the world. Men
were men, and they were two such men. She felt a burn of jealousy
against those unknown women who must have been, and her heart hardened.
They had taken their fun where they found it--Kipling's line ran
through her head.
Pity? Why should she pity, any more than she should be pitied? The
whole thing was too big, too natural, for pity. They were taking a hand
in a big game, and all could not be winners. Playing with the fancy,
she wandered on to a consideration of the outcome. Always she had
avoided such consideration, but the tiny highball had given her daring.
It came to her that she saw doom ahead, doom vague and formless but
terrible.
She was brought back to herself by Dick's hand before her eyes and
apparently plucking from the empty air the something upon which she
steadfastly stared.
"Seeing things?" he teased, as her eyes turned to meet his.
His were laughing, but she glimpsed in them what, despite herself, made
her veil her own with her long lashes. He knew. Beyond all possibility
of error she knew now that he knew. That was what she had seen in his
eyes and what had made her veil her own.
"'Cynthia, Cynthia, I've been a-thinking,'" she gayly hummed to him;
and, as he resumed his talk, she reached and took a sip from his
part-empty glass.
Let come what would, she asserted to herself, she would play it out. It
was all a madness, but it was life, it was living. She had never so
lived before, and it was worth it, no matter what inevitable payment
must be made in the end. Love?--had she ever really loved Dick as she
now felt herself capable of loving? Had she mistaken the fondness of
affection for love all these years? Her eyes warmed as they rested on
Graham, and she admitted that he had swept her as Dick never had.
Unused to alcohol in such strength, her heart was accelerated; and
Dick, with casual glances, noted and knew the cause of the added
brilliance, the flushed vividness of cheeks and lips.
He talked less and less, and the discussion of the sun-perishers died
of mutual agreement as to its facts. Finally, glancing at his watch, he
straightened up, yawned, stretched his arms and announced:
"Bed-time he stop. Head belong this fellow white man too much sleepy
along him.--Nightcap, Evan?"
Graham nodded, for both felt the need of a stiffener.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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