Paula was disturbed. What had happened? Why had Dick lied? He had known
of Jeremy's death for two days. And she had never known anybody's death
so to affect him. She wondered if he had been drinking unduly. In the
course of their married life she had seen him several times in liquor.
He carried it well, the only noticeable effects being a flush in his
eyes and a loosening of his tongue to whimsical fancies and
extemporized chants. Had he, in his trouble, been drinking with the
iron-headed Terrence down in the stag room? She had found them all
assembled there just before dinner. The real cause for Dick's
strangeness never crossed her mind, if, for no other reason, than that
he was not given to spying.
He came back, laughing heartily at a joke of Terrence's, and beckoned
Graham to join them while Terrence repeated it. And when the three had
had their laugh, he prepared to take the picture. The burst of the huge
snake from the camera and the genuine screams of the startled women
served to dispel the gloom that threatened, and next Dick was arranging
a tournament of peanut-carrying.
From chair to chair, placed a dozen yards apart, the feat was with a
table knife to carry the most peanuts in five minutes. After the
preliminary try-out, Dick chose Paula for his partner, and challenged
the world, Wickenberg and the madroño grove included. Many boxes of
candy were wagered, and in the end he and Paula won out against Graham
and Ernestine, who had proved the next best couple. Demands for a
speech changed to clamor for a peanut song. Dick complied, beating the
accent, Indian fashion, with stiff-legged hops and hand-slaps on thighs.
"I am Dick Forrest, son of Richard the Lucky, Son of Jonathan the
Puritan, son of John who was a sea-rover, as his father Albert before
him, who was the son of Mortimer, a pirate who was hanged in chains and
died without issue.
"I am the last of the Forrests, but first of the peanut-carriers.
Neither Nimrod nor Sandow has anything on me. I carry the peanuts on a
knife, a silver knife. The peanuts are animated by the devil. I carry
the peanuts with grace and celerity and in quantity. The peanut never
sprouted that can best me.
"The peanuts roll. The peanuts roll. Like Atlas who holds the world, I
never let them fall. Not every one can carry peanuts. I am God-gifted.
I am master of the art. It is a fine art. The peanuts roll, the peanuts
roll, and I carry them on forever.
"Aaron is a philosopher. He cannot carry peanuts. Ernestine is a
blonde. She cannot carry peanuts. Evan is a sportsman. He drops
peanuts. Paula is my partner. She fumbles peanuts. Only I, I, by the
grace of God and my own cleverness, carry peanuts.
"When anybody has had enough of my song, throw something at me. I am
proud. I am tireless. I can sing on forever. I shall sing on forever.
"Here beginneth the second canto. When I die, bury me in a peanut
patch. While I live--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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