"Insomnia has been a handicap all my life," she said, while she tickled
The Fop with a spur in order to check a threatened belligerence. "But I
early learned to keep the irritation of it off my nerves and the weight
of it off my mind. In fact, I early came to make a function of it and
actually to derive enjoyment from it. It was the only way to master a
thing I knew would persist as long as I persisted. Have you--of course
you have--learned to win through an undertow?"
"Yes, by never fighting it," Graham answered, his eyes on the spray of
color in her cheeks and the tiny beads of sweat that arose from her
continuous struggle with the high-strung creature she rode.
Thirty-eight! He wondered if Ernestine had lied. Paula Forrest did not
look twenty-eight. Her skin was the skin of a girl, with all the
delicate, fine-pored and thin transparency of the skin of a girl.
"Exactly," she went on. "By not fighting the undertow. By yielding to
its down-drag and out-drag, and working with it to reach air again.
Dick taught me that trick. So with my insomnia. If it is excitement
from immediate events that holds me back from the City of Sleep, I
yield to it and come quicker to unconsciousness from out the entangling
currents. I invite my soul to live over again, from the same and
different angles, the things that keep me from unconsciousness.
"Take the swimming of Mountain Lad yesterday. I lived it over last
night as I had lived it in reality. Then I lived it as a spectator--as
the girls saw it, as you saw it, as the cowboy saw it, and, most of
all, as my husband saw it. Then I made up a picture of it, many
pictures of it, from all angles, and painted them, and framed them, and
hung them, and then, a spectator, looked at them as if for the first
time. And I made myself many kinds of spectators, from crabbed old
maids and lean pantaloons to girls in boarding school and Greek boys of
thousands of years ago.
"After that I put it to music. I played it on the piano, and guessed
the playing of it on full orchestras and blaring bands. I chanted it, I
sang it-epic, lyric, comic; and, after a weary long while, of course I
slept in the midst of it, and knew not that I slept until I awoke at
twelve to-day. The last time I had heard the clock strike was six. Six
unbroken hours is a capital prize for me in the sleep lottery."
As she finished, Mr. Hennessy rode away on a cross path, and Dick
Forrest dropped back to squire his wife on the other side.
"Will you sport a bet, Evan?" he queried.
"I'd like to hear the terms of it first," was the answer.
"Cigars against cigars that you can't catch Paula in the tank inside
ten minutes--no, inside five, for I remember you're some swimmer."
"Oh, give him a chance, Dick," Paula cried generously. "Ten minutes
will worry him."
"But you don't know him," Dicked argued. "And you don't value my
cigars. I tell you he is a swimmer. He's drowned kanakas, and you know
what that means."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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