Clergy -- Fiction; Country life -- Scotland -- Fiction; Deception -- Fiction; Romanies -- Fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
Down in the Auld Licht kirk that forenoon Gavin preached a sermon
in praise of Woman, and up in the mudhouse in Windyghoul Babbie
sat alone. But it was the Sabbath day to her: the first Sabbath in
her life. Her discovery had frozen her mind for a time, so that
she could only stare at it with eyes that would not shut; but that
had been in the night. Already her love seemed a thing of years,
for it was as old as herself, as old as the new Babbie. It was
such a dear delight that she clasped it to her, and exulted over
it because it was hers, and then she cried over it because she
must give it up.
For Babbie must only look at this love and then turn from it. My
heart aches for the little Egyptian, but the Promised Land would
have remained invisible to her had she not realized that it was
only for others. That was the condition of her seeing.
CHAPTER XXIV.
NEW WORLD, AND THE WOMAN WHO MAY NOT DWELL THEREIN.
Up here in the glen school-house after my pupils have straggled
home, there comes to me at times, and so sudden that it may be
while I am infusing my tea, a hot desire to write great books.
Perhaps an hour afterwards I rise, beaten, from my desk, flinging
all I have written into the fire (yet rescuing some of it on
second thought), and curse myself as an ingle-nook man, for I see
that one can only paint what he himself has felt, and in my
passion I wish to have all the vices, even to being an impious
man, that I may describe them better. For this may I be pardoned.
It comes to nothing in the end, save that my tea is brackish.
Yet though my solitary life in the glen is cheating me of many
experiences, more helpful to a writer than to a Christian, it has
not been so tame but that I can understand why Babbie cried when
she went into Nanny's garden and saw the new world. Let no one who
loves be called altogether unhappy. Even love unreturned has its
rainbow, and Babbie knew that Gavin loved her. Yet she stood in
woe among the stiff berry bushes, as one who stretches forth her
hands to Love and sees him looking for her, and knows she must
shrink from the arms she would lie in, and only call to him in a
voice he cannot hear. This is not a love that is always bitter. It
grows sweet with age. But could that dry the tears of the little
Egyptian, who had only been a woman for a day?
Much was still dark to her. Of one obstacle that must keep her and
Gavin ever apart she knew, and he did not; but had it been removed
she would have given herself to him humbly, not in her own
longing, but because he wanted her. "Behold what I am," she could
have said to him then, and left the rest to him, believing that
her unworthiness would not drag him down, it would lose itself so
readily in his strength. That Thrums could rise against such a man
if he defied it, she did not believe; but she was to learn the
truth presently from a child.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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