The Little Moment of HappinessKelland, Clarence Budington
General
The Little Moment of Happiness
Kelland, Clarence Budington
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
“I don’t know.... It gets back to a sin being a sin because you think it
is. It’s a feeling. I’ve seen these women in France, women I knew were
having affairs, and they were sweet and modest—and natural. An American
woman can’t seem to have an affair and still be sweet and modest—and
natural. She feels she is doing something wicked and degrading, and
consequently is degraded. She is being deliberately bad.... Don’t you
see?”
“I—I think so.... There’s something. I have the same notion about it as
you, but I couldn’t explain it. I guess you’re right.... Do you think a
man can be in love with two girls at once?” He asked the question
suddenly.
She laughed joyously. “Now, you aren’t going to tell me you are in love
with me, too?... Please don’t. I suppose a lot of these boys will fancy
they’re in love with me just because I happen to be moderately neat and
clean and good-looking and because I’m out here alone like this.... I’ll
stand to them for their sweethearts back home, and all that, but they
won’t be in love with me in the least—and neither are you.”
This frankness was truly American, modern American. Kendall could not
imagine Andree saying or thinking such things; he could not imagine his
mother saying or thinking such things. And why? To Andree love was
love—the great business of life. Everything else was subordinate to it.
To his mother love was—was just a little bit off color, because there
was sex in it. His mother could love her son frankly, but she could not
love her husband frankly nor talk with frankness about it.... Original
sin clung to love in her mind. It was the thing that had cast man out of
Paradise, and while one married and bore children, and marital relations
were necessary, nevertheless there was something squalid and indecent
about them. Andree saw nothing indecent in sex, as she saw nothing
indecent in eating her dinner.... Maude Knox was more like Andree than
like his mother, but even there there was a vast difference. There was
the difference of race and of racial philosophy.
Maude placed her hand on Kendall’s arm. “Be nice to that little girl,”
she said. “Don’t hurt her.... Be fair.”
“What do you mean?... Do you mean I should marry her?”
She hesitated. “I don’t know.... Marriage!...”
Her own inherited prejudices were lifting their heads now. Marriage!...
Marriage with a French girl with whom one was having relations! That was
different. She hesitated and did not give him a frank answer.
“Well?” he said.
“You mustn’t ask me.... I can’t answer that. It is a thing you’ll have
to decide.”
“I guess you have answered,” he said, gloomily.
“Perhaps—and perhaps I’m ashamed of myself for answering so.... But I
was born in America and brought up in a surrounding of sewing-circles.”
There was a pause. Then he said, almost as if to himself, “You’re the
sort of girl I’d like to be in love with.”
“That’s a very nice thing to say—but you’re not.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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