The Little Moment of HappinessKelland, Clarence Budington
General
The Little Moment of Happiness
Kelland, Clarence Budington
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
Kendall obeyed apathetically, took his chair and began to eat
automatically, without interest in his food. He had anticipated a sort
of barbarous pleasure from his harshness toward Andree, but found it
ashes in his mouth. He was ashamed of himself, and then ashamed of
himself again for being ashamed. He had done right, exactly right, he
insisted. She had deserved what he had given her, but nevertheless he
was ashamed of himself. There are two identities in every man, the
emotional, the sentimental, the natural—and the intellectual. Either of
these identities may perform actions satisfactory to itself but
abhorrent to the other. Kendall’s intellectual and logical self was
content; his emotional self accused him.... If one would be happy, if he
would gain and retain affection, if he would have the best gifts of life
for himself and those with whom he comes in contact, he should place
confidence in his emotional self rather than his intellectual. The
emotions are natural and for the most part kindly. They do not operate
by rule and precept, but spontaneously; intellect is artificial and
logic is without the warmth of life.... Even the law recognizes a
distinction, for it does not punish a crime of emotion with the severity
that it metes out to the crime of cold reason. Peter was emotional, he
denied his Master, yet was forgiven and stands chief of the companions
of Christ; Judas took logical thought and betrayed. He committed the
unforgivable sin. The difference was not so much in kind as in cause....
“What would you have done?” he demanded, suddenly, of Bert.
“I wouldn’t have been so infernally brutal.... You and I have been
friends a long time, haven’t we?... Well, right now I’m nearer to
wanting to give you a thrashing than I thought I could ever come. It was
rotten!... Poor kid!... And the way she took it! Without a word or a
whimper!... But did you see her face?... I came darn near blubbing.”
“She deserved it.... She did. She did a rotten thing—and anybody would
think it was I who was to blame. I won’t be put in the wrong.”
“I’m not going to quarrel with you. You asked me what I thought, and I
told you.... I wouldn’t have the confounded conscience you have to live
with for a million dollars. I’m no angel. I suppose I do a lot of things
the righteous folks back home would think were pretty bad. I’m not much
on religion, either. But, all the same, if there is a God, I’ll bet He’s
a lot more apt to take a liking to the fellow who is a bit off color,
but tries to be sort of kind and tolerant, and not to hurt folks, than
He is to the man who lives up to every letter and punctuation mark of
the law, and does it like a brute.... From what I’ve seen of you
stiff-necked, righteous folks, if I were God I’d be pretty average sore
to think I had to have heaven crowded with you. You’d irritate me till I
let in a bunch of sinners just to get some decent company....”
“Right is right and wrong is wrong.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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