The Little NuggetWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Little Nugget
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Kidnapping -- Fiction
I had nothing to say. I caught a glimpse of Audrey's face, cold
and hard, and shifted my eyes quickly. Mr Abney gulped. His face
wore the reproachful expression of a cod-fish when jerked out of
the water on the end of a line. He stared at me with pained
repulsion. That scoundrelly old buccaneer Sam did the same. He
looked like a shocked bishop.
'I--ah--trusted you implicitly,' said Mr Abney.
Sam wagged his head at me reproachfully. With a flicker of spirit
I glared at him. He only wagged the more.
It was, I think, the blackest moment of my life. A wild desire for
escape on any terms surged over me. That look on Audrey's face was
biting into my brain like an acid.
'I will go and pack,' I said.
'This is the end of all things,' I said to myself.
I had suspended my packing in order to sit on my bed and brood. I
was utterly depressed. There are crises in a man's life when
Reason fails to bring the slightest consolation. In vain I tried
to tell myself that what had happened was, in essence, precisely
what, twenty-four hours ago, I was so eager to bring about. It
amounted to this, that now, at last, Audrey had definitely gone
out of my life. From now on I could have no relations with her of
any sort. Was not this exactly what, twenty-four hours ago, I had
wished? Twenty-four hours ago had I not said to myself that I
would go away and never see her again? Undoubtedly. Nevertheless,
I sat there and groaned in spirit.
It was the end of all things.
A mild voice interrupted my meditations.
'Can I help?'
Sam was standing in the doorway, beaming on me with invincible
good-humour.
'You are handling them wrong. Allow me. A moment more and you
would have ruined the crease.'
I became aware of a pair of trousers hanging limply in my grasp.
He took them from me, and, folding them neatly, placed them in my
trunk.
'Don't get all worked up about it, sonny,' he said. 'It's the
fortune of war. Besides, what does it matter to you? Judging by
that very snug apartment in London, you have quite enough money
for a young man. Losing your job here won't break you. And, if
you're worrying about Mrs Ford and her feelings, don't! I guess
she's probably forgotten all about the Nugget by this time. So
cheer up. _You're_ all right!'
He stretched out a hand to pat me on the shoulder, then thought
better of it and drew it back.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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