The Lock and Key Library: The most interesting stories of all nations: American
General
The Lock and Key Library: The most interesting stories of all nations: American
Detective and mystery stories; Short stories, American
He was as whimsical and jestful as ever, but he was not happy. The
truth in this respect was of too much importance to me not to make
me a vigilant observer. His mirth was easily perceived to be the
fruit of exertion. When his thoughts wandered from the company, an
air of dissatisfaction and impatience stole across his features.
Even the punctuality and frequency of his visits were somewhat
lessened. It may be supposed that my own uneasiness was heightened
by these tokens; but, strange as it may seem, I found, in the
present state of my mind, no relief but in the persuasion that
Pleyel was unhappy.
That unhappiness, indeed, depended for its value in my eyes on the
cause that produced it. There was but one source whence it could
flow. A nameless ecstasy thrilled through my frame when any new
proof occurred that the ambiguousness of my behavior was the cause.
IV
My brother had received a new book from Germany. It was a tragedy,
and the first attempt of a Saxon poet of whom my brother had been
taught to entertain the highest expectations. The exploits of
Zisca, the Bohemian hero, were woven into a dramatic series and
connection. According to German custom, it was minute and diffuse,
and dictated by an adventurous and lawless fancy. It was a chain
of audacious acts and unheard-of disasters. The moated fortress
and the thicket, the ambush and the battle, and the conflict of
headlong passions, were portrayed in wild numbers and with terrific
energy. An afternoon was set apart to rehearse this performance.
The language was familiar to all of us but Carwin, whose company,
therefore, was tacitly dispensed with.
The morning previous to this intended rehearsal I spent at home.
My mind was occupied with reflections relative to my own situation.
The sentiment which lived with chief energy in my heart was
connected with the image of Pleyel. In the midst of my anguish, I
had not been destitute of consolation. His late deportment had
given spring to my hopes. Was not the hour at hand which should
render me the happiest of human creatures? He suspected that I
looked with favorable eyes upon Carwin. Hence arose disquietudes
which he struggled in vain to conceal. He loved me, but was
hopeless that his love would be compensated. Is it not time, said
I, to rectify this error? But by what means is this to be
effected? It can only be done by a change of deportment in me; but
how must I demean myself for this purpose?
I must not speak. Neither eyes nor lips must impart the
information. He must not be assured that my heart is his, previous
to the tender of his own; but he must be convinced that it has not
been given to another; he must be supplied with space whereon to
build a doubt as to the true state of my affections; he must be
prompted to avow himself. The line of delicate propriety,—how
hard it is not to fall short, and not to overleap it!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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