Rupert welcomed the other’s guarded prophecy, for to-night he needed
hope. And he fell again to looking through the loophole on to the
empty, moonlit courtyard; and suddenly, from the far side of the house,
he heard Nance’s voice again, as she tried to sing a little of Lady
Royd’s heart-sickness away.
The voice, so low and strong and charitable, the thought of her face,
her brown, waving hair, her candid eyes, struck Rupert with intolerable
pain and sense of loss. He recalled the years when he should have been
up and doing, winning his spurs like other men. His shy, half-ironic,
half-scholarly aloofness from the life of every day showed as a thing
contemptible. He magnified his shortcomings, accused himself of
cowardice, not physical cowardice, but moral. All these years, while
his love for Nance was growing, he should have been conquering the
weakness that separated him from his fellows, should have been climbing
the steep path of hardship, training himself to be strong as his
passion for Nance Demaine.
To-night, as he thought of these things, he understood, to the last
depth, this love that possessed him utterly. It was a soldier’s love, a
strong man’s. It was content to forego, content to watch and guard and
work, so long as Nance was happy, though to himself it brought tumult
and unrest enough. The keen, man’s longing to claim her for his own, to
take her out of reach of such as Will Underwood, had given him many an
evil day and night; but through it all, unconquerable, had come that
strong, chivalrous desire to keep her feet from the puddles and the
mire of life, to serve her hand and foot, and afterwards, since he was
needful to her in no other way, to stand by and watch her happiness
from some shadowed corner.
There was all his life’s training, all the tenor of his long, boyhood’s
thoughts, in this fine regard he brought Squire Demaine’s daughter.
There was, too, the Stuart training that had deepened the old Royd
instincts given him at birth. It was, in part, the devotion he would
have given a queen if he had been her cavalier; and, through it all,
there went that silver skein of haplessness and abnegation bravely
borne which is in the woof and weft of all things Stuart. He knew
the unalterable strength and beauty of his love; and, with a sudden
overmastering shame, he saw himself--himself, unfit to join the Rising,
useless and a stay-at-home, beside this other picture of his high,
chivalrous regard for Nance. He laughed bitterly. It was grotesque,
surely, that so fine a passion should be in charge of such a weakling.
And then, from the midst of his humiliation and pain, he plucked
courage and new hope. It was his way, as it had been his father’s. If
this dream of his came true--if the retreat swept up this way, as
Simon hoped, and gave work into his hands--he would give Nance deeds at
last.
“The night is not so empty as it was, Simon,” he said, turning
sharply. “We’ll patrol the house.”
CHAPTER XII
THE GALLOP
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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