Nance looked at him. He had changed since the days when her least whim
had swayed him more than did the giving of her whole heart now. He was
steady and unyielding, like a rock against which the winds beat idly.
And suddenly a loneliness came over her, a wild impatience of men’s
outlook. She recalled the day at Windyhough, just after Sir Jasper had
ridden out, when Lady Royd had complained that honour was more to a
man than wife-love and his home’s need of him. She remembered how, with
a girl’s untutored zeal, she had blamed Sir Jasper’s wife because she
could not realise the high romance of it. But now she understood.
“You rode out to prove yourself--for my sake and the Cause?” she said,
with cool disdain.
“Yes, Nance.”
“And you found--adventure. And your name is one to kindle hero-worship
wherever loyal fugitives meet and speak of you. Oh, you shall have your
due, Rupert! But in the doing of it the hard endeavour grew dear in
itself--dearer than life, than--than little Nance Demaine, for whose
sake you got to horse.”
He flushed, knowing she spoke truth; and he stood at bay, ashamed of
what should have been his pride. And then he returned, by habit, to the
mood taught him by night-riding and the over-arching skies.
“Men love that way,” he said bluntly.
Nance was twisting and untwisting the kerchief she held between her
capable, strong fingers. She had not guessed till now the bitterness of
tongue she could command.
“Oh, yes, my dear; we learned it together, did we not, in the library
at Windyhough? There was a book of Richard Lovelace, his poems, and he
was very graceful when he bade his wife farewell:
“‘I could not love thee, dear, so much
Loved I not honour more.’
And honour took him to the open--to the rousing hunt--and his wife
stayed on at home.”
Rupert, unskilled in the lore that has tempted many fools afield, was
dismayed by the attack. In his simplicity, he had looked for praise
when he put temptation by him and asked only for a God-speed till the
road of his plain duty was ended and he was free to claim her. He did
not know--how should he?--that women love best the gifts that never
reach their feet.
“Nance,” he said, “what ails you women? It was so at Windyhough, when
the Loyal Meet rode out, and mother cried as if they’d found dishonour.”
“What ails us?” She was not bitter now, but helpless, and her eyes were
thick with tears. “Our birthright ails us. We’re like children crying
in the dark, and the night’s lonely round us, and we are far from home.
And the strong hand comes to us, and we cast it off, because we need
its strength. And then we go crying in the dark again, and wonder why
God made us so. And--and that is what ails us,” she added, with a flash
of sharp, defiant humour. And her eyes clouded suddenly. “I--I have
lost a father to the Cause. It is hard to be brave these days, Rupert.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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