They all but crushed him. He had dreamed of Prince Charles Edward;
had learned at last to sit a horse, because he needed to follow where
high enterprise was in the doing; had known the luxury of a gallop in
pursuit of men who had thought him short of initiative.
And now he was the Scholar again. His horse had failed him. His own
feet had played him false. He sat there, wet and homeless, and from the
cloudy hills a smooth, contemptuous voice came whispering at his ear.
Best be done with a life that had served him ill. He was a hindrance to
himself, to his friends. Best creep down to the pool at the road-foot;
he had bathed there often in summer and knew its depth. Best end it
all--the shame, the laughter of strong men, the constant misadventure
that met him by the way. He was weak and accursed. None would miss him
if he went to sleep.
“No,” he said deliberately, as if answering an enemy in human shape, “a
Royd could not do it.”
Sir Jasper’s view of his first-born was finding confirmation. The soul
of the lad had been tempered to a nicety, and the bodily pain scarce
troubled him, as he set his face away from London and the Prince,
and limped toward home. Now and then he was forced to rest, because
sickness would not let him see the road ahead; but always he got up
again. Self-blame had grown to be a mischievous habit with him, and
he was ashamed now that he had deserted his allotted post. True, his
father, in bidding him guard Windyhough, had practised a tender fraud
on him; but he had given his word, and had been false to it when the
first haphazard temptation met him by the way. It had been so easy to
steal Giles’s horse, so easy to scamper off along the road of glamour,
so bitter-hard to stay among the women.
The lad was over-strained and heart-sick, ready to make molehills into
mountains; yet his shame was bottomed on sound instinct. He came of a
soldier-stock, and in the tissues of him was interwoven this contempt
for the sentry who forsook his post. No danger threatened Windyhough.
He was returning to a duty which, in itself, was idle; but he had
pledged his word.
He struggled forward. The road to London was not for him; but at least
he could keep faith with the father who was riding now, no doubt,
beside the Prince.
CHAPTER VII
THE HEIR RETURNS
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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