Not even for Francey had he a farewell; yet she had her moment with
him, all unknown. Lifting her blind in the first showing of dawn, she
saw him standing on the sea-wall, looking over the bay. He was still in
his rough clothes, and the dull shade of the worn stuff was one with
the colourless growth of the breaking day. He stood perfectly still,
his hands dropped at his sides, his head a little bent, more like a
symbol than a breathing human. On either side of him a shadowy wraith
of a sheepdog lay crouched with pricked ears, as if watching for an
invisible flock to come shouldering out of the dim space beneath. They
had scarcely left him a moment during the last few days, clinging like
burrs, and all the last night they had whimpered and wept, until in
desperation he rose and called them out. Francey knelt at the window
with her black hair looped on either side of her pale face, and saw the
day come up to the feet of her parting love.
He was going, and by a finger she could have held him, but something
kept her back that did not seem part of her at all. If she had but
known it, the tragedy that was coming was in her hands to force or
to withhold; but she did not know. The question was still purely
personal, still hung on the one point, whether or not her real
happiness lay in the primitive figure on the bank. There were tears in
her eyes as she thought of the coming dawns when she might look to find
him there and all in vain, but she was prepared to shed them. He would
leave desolation behind him, but it would pass. She knew that she was
able to let him go, and while she realised that she would not keep him.
Yet she longed for a last look, however far, and from her post under
the lifted sash she tried to will that he should turn and send
his climbing glance over the house to her window, as he had done
so many times before, but her fixed gaze did not reach him. Brack
would have answered it, she knew--Brack, sensitive, impressionable,
ultra-self-conscious; but Lup looked straight before him with his
tranquil eyes, and all the hysterical telepathy in the world might have
shrieked in his ear and found him deaf. And just for that, just because
he did not look, nor heed, nor answer, Francey felt wounded and full of
longing; for it is always the man that turns his back that pulls at a
woman’s heart.
There was a clink of milk-pails on the stone floor beneath, followed by
steps on the stairs; and then the door opened, and her mother stood at
her shoulder.
“You’ll get your death at yon window! For the land’s sake don’t be
staring at nowt, like poor Martha at Ninekyrkes! She fair gives me the
creeps. It’s about time to be stirring. I’ve been down a bit, and t’
master’s out an’ about. Yon’s Lup, I reckon. What’s he at? Feeling a
bit down in the mouth, likely, but he’ll get over it. Westmorland folk
be gey ill to shift, but they do rarely when they get going. Lup’ll be
a sight better for a change. Canada’ll happen make a man of him--same
as Brack!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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