“Snooze! How can I snooze with a million little devils runnin’ up and
down my backbone and adancin’ all over my head? You knowed I couldn’t
sleep! You knowed I hain’t slep’ for a week! Snooze! O damn it! Hain’t
I goin’ to get plenty of snoozin’ when they drag the cart out from ’n
under me in the mornin’?”
Sheep’s voice broke; the fire went out of his eyes; his teeth chattered
as though a sudden gust of winter had struck him.
“Now, Sheep,” said Hank, “don’t be so riled up like. I know it’s hard
to go out that away; but it won’t last long, and it can’t hurt much
after the first jerk. I reckon it don’t matter much how a feller goes
out after he’s gone.”
“Oh, shut that up!”
The little man leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. After a
considerable silence the big man produced a flask of liquor and spoke
soothingly.
“Want a drink, Sheepy, old man?”
The little man leaped up with a glimmer of hope in his eyes.
“‘Course I do! What made you keep a-hidin’ it when you knowed all
along that’s what I been wantin’?”
He grasped the flask and drank with great eager gulps until it was
empty. Then he sat down against the cabin wall, staring fixedly at
the candle flame. The empty, sheepish, cowardly face began to gain
expression as the liquor mounted to his head. A light of fearlessness
began to grow in his eyes. Lines appeared and deepened in his thin
face, suggesting at once a certain degree of mastery and infinite
malevolence. The wolf that lurks somewhere in the fastness of every
man’s soul had come forth and routed the sheep.
“What in thunder you doin’ with all that heavy artillery hangin’
to you, Hank? Take ’em off! I don’t need no guards. Who said I was
thinkin’ of breakin’ camp? I hain’t tryin’ to run, am I? Damn me,
I’m glad I done it and I’m a-goin’ to walk right straight into hell
a-grinnin’! Sheep, am I?”
The little man laughed a strange laugh that had the snarl of a mad wolf
in it; a moment since he had been bleating like a scared lamb.
“You set there and listen. Sheep, sheep, sheep! That’s what they all
been a-callin’ me, but when I get done tellin’ you about it, I guess
you won’t call me no sheep. Hain’t a danged one of you big fellers as
would ’ve done it up better ’n me!
“You’ve knowed me quite a spell, Hank; and you never knowed no bad of
me till now, did you? And I hain’t had any easy trail most of the time
neither. When I was jest a little feller goin’ to country school back
East, the other fellers always picked onto me ’cause I was so easy to
pick onto. Never had a fight in my life. Always scared to death of
fightin’; sucked it in with my mother’s milk, I guess. Used to get off
alone and bawl ’cause I couldn’t make myself fight.
“Never was a real boy; always a kind of a stray sheep, bleatin’ around
in lonesome places. Guess I must look like a sheep; anyway the boys
called me that; and it stuck. Pretty hard bein’ a sheep amongst wolves,
Hank!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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