The stumbling, broken accents seemed to strike across the void. What
if, instead of the great machine of recompense that he had
distinguished in that prison experience, there were indeed a personal
God, as Jubilee Jim believed, throned in his vast white heaven of
glory--a God pitiful for the agony of his human creatures. Would he
look down now and hear his cry for help? Harry flung himself suddenly
on his knees, and leaned his forehead against the dark wainscoting. He
knew that he uttered no word, but all his being seemed to resolve
itself into an inarticulate cry for aidance. It was the first appeal
of his life to something outside of himself, the first cry of human
weakness, groping in its utter hopelessness for the Infinite. It was
the last step of the long way Harry had travelled--from self-abasement
to remorse and awakening conscience, through struggle with appetite to
victory over himself, self-abnegation, acquiescence in the great law of
retribution, and finally, in his despair, to prayer.
And out of the deep to which he had called, calmness at length came to
him, and with it a clear and steady purpose. As dawn took down the red
draw-bars of the sky to let in the day, he threw open a shutter and
stood looking down with aching eyes upon the drowsily-waking street.
There should be no lying denial, no cowardly evasion--nothing less than
the naked truth. If fate, if God, demanded this last thing of him--if
only so could he balance the account--he would not repine. He had
fought the fight, and at the last, so far as he could, he would keep
the faith!
Before the hotel had awakened, Harry was in his own apartment. He had
left a note for Brent, who was to be in charge at the hotel suite,
saying briefly that he should not appear that day, but would be with
the Committee at eight o'clock. He had sent the same message also to
Judge Allen. He told Suzuki to admit no one, disconnected his
telephone, and thereafter remained at his desk writing, a plate of
sandwiches at his elbow, bending himself to the final arrangement of
the details of his personal affairs, as he might have done, he thought
once, if by some clairvoyancy he foresaw that to-morrow he would die.
Death, indeed, would have been a welcome solution if by it he could
have bought extrication. Was he not going, living, to a worse death
than he should ever die?
As the mantel-clock struck seven, he laid the last written paper in the
desk-drawer and rising, went into his dressing-room. He bathed and
dressed, the last time in his life, he told himself, that he should don
the evening habilaments of a gentleman--grave-clothes! For the blow
would not be delayed. To-morrow, no doubt, the state would ring with
his downfall. To-night--in the hour of his victory, if victory should
be his--he would write _finis_ to the final chapter and surrender
himself to the law.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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