He could not but love her the more for it. He could not but respect her
the more for her courage, for her thoughtfulness, her self-denial. But
when the heart is full and would unburden itself, when the brain teems
with pent-up thoughts, when the excitement of action and of peril wanes
and the mind would fain tell and hear and compare and remember--then to
be alone, to be solitary, is to sink below one's self.
For a time, while his pulses still beat high, while the heat of battle
still wrought in him, and the noise without continued, and there seemed
a prospect of things to be done, he stood up against this. Thump! Thump!
They were stoning the shutters. Let them! He placed the settle across
the hearth, and in this way cut off the firelight that might have
betrayed those in the room to eyes peeping through the holes. By-and-by
the shrill vixenish cries rose louder, he caught the sound of voices in
altercation, and of hoarse orders: and slowly and reluctantly the babel
seemed to pass away. An anxious moment followed: fearfully he listened
for the knock of the law, the official summons which must make all his
efforts useless. But it did not come.
It was when the silence which ensued had lasted some minutes that the
strangeness and aloofness of his position in this darkened room began to
weigh on his spirits. His eyes had adapted themselves to the gloom, and
he could make out the shapes of the furniture. But it was morning! It
was day! Outside, the city was beginning to go about its ordinary work,
its ordinary life. The streets were filling, the classes were mustering.
And he sat here in the dark! The longer he stared into the strange,
depressing gloom, the farther he seemed from life; the more solitary,
the more hopeless, the more ominous seemed the position.
Alone with two women whom the worst of fates threatened! Whose pains and
ultimate lot the brawl in which he had taken part foreshadowed too
clearly. For thus and with as little cause perished in those days
thousands of the helpless and the friendless. Alone with these two,
under the roof from which all others had fled, barred with them behind
the gloomy shutters until the hour came, and their fellows, shuddering,
cast them out--what chance had he of escaping their lot?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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