Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Teachers -- Fiction
“We don’t want money—why, we don’t even spend any on travelling. I’ve
invested all my salary and more. As far as human foresight goes, we
shall never want money.” And his thoughts went out to the tiny grave.
“You spoke of ‘right and proper,’ but the right and proper thing for my
aunt to do is to leave every penny she’s got to Stephen.”
Her lip quivered, and for one moment he thought that she was going to
cry. “What am I to do with you?” she said. “You talk like a person in
poetry.”
“I’ll put it in prose. He’s lived with her for twenty years, and he
ought to be paid for it.”
Poor Agnes! Indeed, what was she to do? The first moment she set foot
in Cadover she had thought, “Oh, here is money. We must try and get
it.” Being a lady, she never mentioned the thought to her husband, but
she concluded that it would occur to him too. And now, though it had
occurred to him at last, he would not even write his aunt a little note.
He was to try her yet further. While they argued this point he flashed
out with, “I ought to have told him that day when he called up to our
room. There’s where I went wrong first.”
“Rickie!”
“In those days I was sentimental. I minded. For two pins I’d write to
him this afternoon. Why shouldn’t he know he’s my brother? What’s all
this ridiculous mystery?”
She became incoherent.
“But _why_ not? A reason why he shouldn’t know.”
“A reason why he _should_ know,” she retorted. “I never heard such
rubbish! Give me a reason why he should know.”
“Because the lie we acted has ruined our lives.”
She looked in bewilderment at the well-appointed room.
“It’s been like a poison we won’t acknowledge. How many times have you
thought of my brother? I’ve thought of him every day—not in love;
don’t misunderstand; only as a medicine I shirked. Down in what they
call the subconscious self he has been hurting me.” His voice broke.
“Oh, my darling, we acted a lie then, and this letter reminds us of
it and gives us one more chance. I have to say ‘we’ lied. I should be
lying again if I took quite all the blame. Let us ask God’s forgiveness
together. Then let us write, as coldly as you please, to Stephen, and
tell him he is my father’s son.”
Her reply need not be quoted. It was the last time he attempted
intimacy. And the remainder of their conversation, though long and
stormy, is also best forgotten.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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