Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Teachers -- Fiction
“A terrible lot of Cads,” said Agnes brightly.
Mrs. Failing divided her guests into those who made this joke and those
who did not. The latter class was very small.
“The vicar of Cadford—not the nice drunkard—declares the name is
really ‘Chadford,’ and he worried on till I put up a window to St. Chad
in our church. His Cambridge wife pronounces it ‘Hyadford.’ I could
smack them both. How do you like Podge? Ah! you jump; I meant you to.
How do you like Podge Wonham?”
“Very nice,” said Agnes, laughing.
“Nice! He is a hero.”
There was a long interval of silence. Each lady looked, without
much interest, at the view. Mrs. Failing’s attitude towards Nature
was severely aesthetic—an attitude more sterile than the severely
practical. She applied the test of beauty to shadow and odour and
sound; they never filled her with reverence or excitement; she never
knew them as a resistless trinity that may intoxicate the worshipper
with joy. If she liked a ploughed field, it was only as a spot of
colour—not also as a hint of the endless strength of the earth. And
today she could approve of one cloud, but object to its fellow. As for
Miss Pembroke, she was not approving or objecting at all. “A hero?” she
queried, when the interval had passed. Her voice was indifferent, as if
she had been thinking of other things.
“A hero? Yes. Didn’t you notice how heroic he was?”
“I don’t think I did.”
“Not at dinner? Ah, Agnes, always look out for heroism at dinner. It is
their great time. They live up to the stiffness of their shirt fronts.
Do you mean to say that you never noticed how he set down Rickie?”
“Oh, that about poetry!” said Agnes, laughing. “Rickie would not mind
it for a moment. But why do you single out that as heroic?”
“To snub people! to set them down! to be rude to them! to make them
feel small! Surely that’s the lifework of a hero?”
“I shouldn’t have said that. And as a matter of fact Mr. Wonham was
wrong over the poetry. I made Rickie look it up afterwards.”
“But of course. A hero always is wrong.”
“To me,” she persisted, rather gently, “a hero has always been a strong
wonderful being, who champions—”
“Ah, wait till you are the dragon! I have been a dragon most of my
life, I think. A dragon that wants nothing but a peaceful cave.
Then in comes the strong, wonderful, delightful being, and gains a
princess by piercing my hide. No, seriously, my dear Agnes, the chief
characteristics of a hero are infinite disregard for the feelings of
others, plus general inability to understand them.”
“But surely Mr. Wonham—”
“Yes; aren’t we being unkind to the poor boy. Ought we to go on
talking?”
Agnes waited, remembering the warnings of Rickie, and thinking that
anything she said might perhaps be repeated.
“Though even if he was here he wouldn’t understand what we are saying.”
“Wouldn’t understand?”
Mrs. Failing gave the least flicker of an eye towards her companion.
“Did you take him for clever?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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