One of the easiest ways of discovering a person's social status at
school is by watching his behaviour in the tuck-shop. The tuck-shop or
"Toe," as it is generally called, is a long wooden building with
corrugated iron roof, situated just opposite Buller's house, not far
from the new buildings. It is divided by a wooden partition into two
shops; at each end of the outer shop run two counters. On the right-hand
counter, which is connected with a small kitchen, cakes, muffins and
sausages are sold; on the left-hand side there are sweets and fruit. The
inner and larger room is filled with tables, and round the room are
photographs of all the school teams. At the far end, in huge green
frames, are hung photographs of the two great Fernhurst Fifteens who
went through the season without losing a match. The "Toe" is the
noisiest place in the whole school. It is superintended by five
waitresses, and they have a very poor time of it.
The real blood is easily recognised. He strolls in as if he had taken a
mortgage on the place, swaggers into the inner room, puts down his books
on the top table in the right-hand corner--only the bloods sit here--and
demands a cup of tea and a macaroon. A special counter has been made by
the bloods' table, so that the great men can order what they want
without going back into the outer shop. No real blood ever makes a noise
in the outer shop. When he is once inside the inner shop, however, he
immediately lets everyone know it. If he sees anyone he knows, he bawls
out:
"I say, have you prepared this stuff for Christy?"
The person asked never has.
"Nor have I. Rot, I call it."
No blood is ever known to have prepared anything.
The big man then sits down. If a friend of his is anywhere about, he
flings a lump of sugar at him. When he gets up he knocks over at least
one chair. He then strolls out, observing the same magnificent dignity
in the outer shop. No one can mistake him.
But the only other person who makes no row in the outer shop is the
small boy, who creeps in, and creeps out, unnoticed. Everyone with any
claim to greatness asserts his presence loudly. The chief figures at
this time were the junior members of Buller's, and especially the two
Hazlitts. Their elder brother was the school winger, and an important
person; but they had done nothing but make a noise during their two
years at Fernhurst. Athleticism had had a disastrous effect on them.
Because their house had won the Thirds, Two Cock and Three Cock, they
thought themselves gods. In the tuck-shop they acted as avenging angels
sent to punish a wicked world. Their chief amusement was to see a person
leaning over a counter, kick his backside when he was not looking, and
then run away. It was their class that were the real nuisance in the
"Toe." They persecuted the girls in charge most damnably. Very often
only one girl was in charge. The younger Hazlitt would at once seat
himself on the other counter and shriek out:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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