Miracles do not happen, nor do sudden conversions. Man very rarely
changes. What he is at the beginning, he is at the end; all that occurs
is that at various stages of his journey he looks at life from a
different point of view, or rather through a different pair of
spectacles, for never on this earth do we really see things as they are.
When Gordon found new influences at work upon him, when he discovered
through literature that there is something higher than the ignoble
monotony of the average individual routine, he did not suddenly change
his whole way of life, and, "like a swimmer into cleanness leaping," put
out of sight behind him the things that had pleased him once. Right and
wrong are merely relative terms. What was considered right in the days
of Caesar spells social ostracism to-day. And there are a few who prefer
to see life as the Romans saw it, and to follow the ideals of power and
physical beauty. For such life is not easy. Yet we are not so much
better than "when Caesar Augustus was Egypt's Lord!" The question of what
is really right and what is really wrong will never be satisfactorily
decided, on this earth at any rate, for we cannot all wear the same
spectacles for long. Temperament is all-powerful.
And Gordon made no attempt to settle the question. He did not suddenly
feel a loathing for his former pleasures, but during the long summer
holidays, as he bathed in the waters of English poetry, it seemed to him
as if he had outgrown them, and cast them aside. Perhaps in the future
they might momentarily appear beautiful once more, but he did not think
that he would ever again wear them for very long, for they were, after
all, little, insignificant, trivial, and contrasted poorly with the
white heat of Byron's passion, and the flaming ardour of Swinburne, that
cried for "the old kingdoms of earth and their kings." As he read on,
while the summer sun sank in a red sea behind the gaunt Hampstead firs,
read of the proud, domineering soul of Manfred, visualised the burst of
passion that had prompted the murder in _The Last Confession_, felt the
thundering paganism of the _Hymn to Proserpine_, he was overcome with a
tremendous hatred for the system that had kept literature from him as a
shut book, that had offered him mature philosophy instead of colour and
youth, and tried to prevent him from seeking it for himself. So this is
the way, he thought, the youth of England is being brought up. Masters
tell us to fix all our energies on achieving school successes, and think
of calf-bound prizes and tasselled caps all day long. No wonder that, if
they bind us down to trivial things, we become like the Man with the
Muck-Rake, and drift on with low aims, with nothing to help us to live
differently from cattle. No wonder the whole common room is repeatedly
shocked by the discovery of some sordid scandal.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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