She nodded her head once or twice at the soothing combination of praise
and sympathy. She waited for what further he had to say with confidence
that it would be agreeable to hear. It was apparent that he had
deliberately made this opportunity; he had planned their ride with this
bright, glowing hearth as its goal; and she experienced the pleasurable
sense of being a figure in a little drama, herself its chief character,
with a setting of the stage at once adequate and satisfying.
He had always been plausible with women and he was playing the
situation for what it was worth. He could almost believe in his own
sincerity. He was conscious that he was managing the affair well;
he even enjoyed his own speeches which he uttered so glibly that he
wondered at his fluency.
“The appeal you made to me that first afternoon did you credit; it was
like you. A man of iron could not have failed to be touched by what
you said to me. I knew as no one else in town ever could know what you
were trying to escape, and how you had set up my father as a splendid
big god to worship. He was to be your strength and your refuge, and
you were horror-struck at the thought of our going back to our old
basis. I wanted to make love to you and you would not have it. I felt
the scorn you heaped on me--it burned me like hot coals, but I waited;
I waited because I knew the time would come when you would want and
need me. I knew how it would be because I, too, had knelt before the
same glittering god. I’m going to be honest about all this: at first I
thought it was your mother who had cheated him, and I was glad of it;
then I saw that it was the other way around--that you had been deceived
and cheated, and that you would have to pay for it. When I saw that
that was the way of it, and that you were trusting him to end your long
campaign against the world, my sympathy went out to you, and all my
old feeling for you came back. You were never so precious to me as you
are to-day--no one ever meant to me what you mean. You are dear to me,
dearer and more precious than any words can tell you, Addie.”
He had spoken rapidly, in a low vibrant voice. She made no reply, but
turned her head slightly away; but when he again touched her hand she
suffered him to hold it; it slipped into his palm and rested there at
the table’s edge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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