A heavy weight fell on Laura's heart; she felt herself dragged down
into an abyss of injustice and injury. Her father's conduct paralyzed
her energies, and tears burst from her eyes.
"I see that you at least feel the wrong you are committing," continued
Mrs. Hahn, more calmly. "Do not do it again. Believe me, it is easy to
pain others, but it is a sorry business, and my poor husband and I have
not deserved it from you. We have seen you grow up before our eyes; and
even though we have had no intercourse with your parents, we have
always been pleased with you, and no-one in our house has ever wished
you ill. You do not know what a good man Mr. Hahn is, but still you
ought not to have behaved so. Since we have dwelt here we have
experienced many vexations from this house; but that you should share
your father's views pains me most."
Laura endeavored in vain to dry her tears. "I repeat to you that you do
me injustice; more I cannot say in self-justification, nor will I. You
have grieved me more than you know, and I am satisfied that I have a
clear conscience."
With these words she hastened into the house, and Mrs. Hahn returned
home, uncertain as to the result of her visit.
Laura paced up and down her little room wringing her hands. Innocent
and yet guilty in spite of her good will, wounded to the quick, dragged
into a family feud, the unhappy results of which could not be foreseen,
she reviewed the events of the past day in her excited mind. At last
she seated herself at her little writing-table, took out her journal,
and confided her sorrows to this silent friend bound in violet leather.
She sought comfort from the souls of others who had borne up nobly
under similar griefs, and at last found the confirmation of her
experience in the expressive well-known passage of Goethe's Faust:
"Reason doth folly, good doth evil grow;
The child must reap the mischief that the fathers sow."
Had she not wished to do what was reasonable and kind, and had not
folly and evil arisen from it? And had not misfortune befallen her
without her fault merely because she was a child of the house? With
this sentence she closed a passionate effusion. But in order not to
appear to her conscience devoid of affection, the poor child wrote
immediately underneath these words: "My dear, good father." Then she
closed the book, feeling more comforted.
But the severest humiliation to her was the feeling that she should be
judged unjustly by the people over the way; and she folded her arms and
thought how she could justify herself. She, indeed, could do nothing;
but there was a worthy man who was the confidant of every one in the
house, who had cured her canary bird when ill, and removed a stain from
the nose of her little bust of Schiller. She resolved, therefore, to
tell only the faithful Gabriel what Mrs. Hahn had said, and not a word
to her mother unless obliged to do so.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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