Before we had finished breakfast the sun beat on the panes with an
unusual strength and brightness. His rays cheered us all, and it was so
warm that John first opened the windows, and then wheeled his chair on
to the walk outside. Mr. Gaskell brought him a hat and mufflers, and we
sat with him on the terrace basking in the sun. The sea was still and
glassy as a mirror, and the Channel lay stretched before us like a floor
of moving gold. A rose or two still hung against the house, and the
sun's rays reflected from the red sandstone gave us a December morning
more mild and genial than many June days that I have known in the north.
We sat for some minutes without speaking, immersed in our own
reflections and in the exquisite beauty of the scene.
The stillness was broken by the bells of the parish church ringing for
the morning service. There were two of them, and their sound, familiar
to us from childhood, seemed like the voices of old friends. John looked
at me and said with a sigh, "I should like to go to church. It is long
since I was there. You and I have always been on Christmas mornings,
Sophy, and Constance would have wished it had she been with us."
His words, so unexpected and tender, filled my eyes with tears; not
tears of grief, but of deep thankfulness to see my loved one turning
once more to the old ways. It was the first time I had heard him speak
of Constance, and that sweet name, with the infinite pathos of her
death, and of the spectacle of my brother's weakness, so overcame me
that I could not speak. I only pressed his hand and nodded. Mr. Gaskell,
who had turned away for a minute, said he thought John would take no
harm in attending the morning service provided the church were warm.
On this point I could reassure him, having found it properly heated
even in the early morning.
Mr. Gaskell was to push John's chair, and I ran off to put on my cloak,
with my heart full of profound thankfulness for the signs of returning
grace so mercifully vouchsafed to our dear sufferer on this happy day.
I was ready dressed and had just entered the library when Mr. Gaskell
stepped hurriedly through the window from the terrace. "John has
fainted!" he said. "Run for some smelling salts and call Parnham!"
There was a scene of hurried alarm, giving place ere long to terrified
despair. Parnham mounted a horse and set off at a wild gallop to Swanage
to fetch Dr. Bruton; but an hour before he returned we knew the worst.
My brother was beyond the aid of the physician: his wrecked life had
reached a sudden term!
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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