“I must now answer your letter. I am sorry if mine grieved you, but my heart was so full that if I had told you all my anger you would not have got off as lightly as you did. I am satisfied with your excuses, and glad of your assurance that everything took place in public. Yet, even so, I would have given my heart’s blood for you not to have gone. Without offence, how can you be such a fool as to draw a comparison between my going to Monsieur Colt’s ball, whither I went a fortnight after you left,[195] and because the Elector and Electress insisted upon it, and your going to La Platen’s supper party two hours after I had gone, and when you had bidden me so tender a farewell? I never even dreamt that you were disporting yourself in that way. But we will talk no more about it, for I love you, and I cannot be angry for long. Even before you wrote I had forgiven you. I am a fool to confess it; but do not take advantage of my weakness. Don’t give me ground for thinking you are acting a part again; but, on the other hand, don’t be so silly as to keep away from La Platen altogether. You know my views on the subjects and it is most important to keep her in good humour; therefore, for the sake of our love, go there as before. It was not your visiting her that I found so bad, but the time and the way you did it—on the very day I left. It nearly drove me out of my mind. “You seem to mock at the account I have sent you of my doings. Mock as much as you please, but it is true. You tell me I talked a good deal with Sitardie. He told me he was composing some verses on your absence; but you can disabuse your mind of the idea that any one is flirting with me. I shall start at the end of the week for Brockhausen.” ----- Footnote 195: For the campaign in Flanders, June, 1692. ----- “[LUISBURG,] _Wednesday, June_ 14/24. “The Electress talks about you every time I walk out with her; and, as I have told you, I am alone with her a good deal. I know not whether she does it through friendship for you or because she thinks it pleases me; in either case, it is the same. _Je ne peux même entendre nommer votre nom sans un transport dont je ne suis pas la maîtresse._ She praises you so highly that were she younger I should be jealous. I really think she is fond of you; she can hardly show it more, and it makes me quite uncomfortable! She has just sent me word to come out for a walk with her, and so robs me of the joy of writing to you—my only one when we are not together. Some day perhaps I shall be able to see you as I will, and never to leave you more. I believe I shall go mad, for the life I lead is intolerable. Let us hope for a happy change; let us do everything to be together. I shall never get used to separation from you; I find it harder every day, for I love you more ardently than ever.”