I will say no more! You ought to be ashamed of yourself to act as you do. I will not reproach you; you ought to reproach yourself. But it shows, alas! there is very little love proof against absence. Unfortunately for me, my love does not lessen, and I am too tender and sensitive. Teach me how to learn the secret of indifference. I must end this. In spite of all my resolutions, it might escape me that I love you, and I would rather die than tell you so to-day.” _Königsmarck to the Princess._ “_Wednesday, July_ 19/29. “My banquet, as you call it, was a very dull affair, though La Platen came with her husband. The young countess is still very ill. Madame Bussche’s coach-horses took fright and bolted, and the ladies were so unnerved by the accident that they scarcely spoke two words, added to which it was very bad weather, for fine rain set in and a great wind arose which made us break up very early: they all went home before eleven o’clock. I did not sit at the centre table, as there was no room; I supped with Harrenburg and a lieutenant of my regiment, and was delighted to have a pretext to escape from my guests. I was a very convenient host; they will not boast much about my attentiveness. But how could I be attentive when I was so _distrait_ and my heart far away with you? I vow I thought more of you than of all my guests put together. My reason for giving the supper was because I am going away soon, and it was the right thing for me to do. I have been so often to their dinners that it was necessary for me to make some return. Do not think I did it to court any one, or with any thought of intrigue. I vow, on my perdition, it was not so. I have told you the true reason; there was none other, I swear to you. Don’t draw unjust comparisons. As a man, I am compelled to do many things which as a woman you need not do. Some one has been telling me I have become so odd that it is no use seeking my company. I said: ‘When good fortune forsakes a man, what would you have him do? I get no promotion and I am losing all my possessions.’ He answered: ‘What about love?’ I replied: ‘I no longer think of it’. But God forgive me, it was the greatest untruth I have ever told in my life.” _The Princess to Königsmarck._ “[CELLE,] _Friday, July_ 21/31.