"Bored with you!" Her voice thrilled. "Oh, man, man, you don't
understand a bit. You're everything in the world to me. The only thing
that ever makes me really frightened is the thought of forfeiting your
love. That's because I'm happy--happy. You don't know, no man ever does
know, what happiness means to a woman; how utterly miserable she _can_
be. I was miserable with H.--miserable. Luxuries don't help--when one's
unhappy. When I look back on my life before I met you, I wonder I
didn't"--she hesitated--"I didn't do something desperate. I suppose I
didn't know how miserable I really was. I don't suppose any woman in my
position ever does know, till some man teaches her----"
"And now?" he broke in.
"Now, I'm absolutely happy. Honestly, I don't care a bit about the legal
position--as you call it. What does it matter whether we're legally
married or not? What does it matter whether people want to know us or
whether they don't? I don't care," she ended almost defiantly; "I don't
care a bit so long as I've got you; so long as we're right with our own
consciences."
And really, when Aliette looks back on those unsettled days, it
astonishes her how little she did care for the rest of the world. Even
her parents' attitude seemed of no importance.
3
For outwardly the Fullerfords had taken up a very determined attitude.
At Clyst Fullerford Aliette's name was scarcely mentioned. The people
who had known Aliette since cradle-days, the pleasant Devonshire people
busied with their pleasant trivial country round, still called
neighborly as of yore; but they no longer inquired of Andrew Fullerford,
nor of Andrew's wife, after the health of Mrs. Brunton. Somehow rumor,
unconfirmed yet accurate in the main, had penetrated to every corner of
the county; and though the pleasant people pretended to ignore rumor, at
least until such time as rumor's story should be substantiated by the
London papers, still they thought it "safer" not to mention Aliette when
they visited the long, low house of the mullioned windows.
Ever since the death of the Fullerford boys in France, the house with
the mullioned windows had been sad. But now it seemed more than sad--a
home of utter tragedy, despite its tended gardens and its deft servants.
The stags' heads and the foxes' masks on its walls only enhanced its
gloom. Its empty stables typified empty hearts; hearts of a man and a
woman whose sons might not inherit.
Mollie, in that long August and longer September, found the place
unbearable. Yet she was afraid to leave it; afraid to leave Andrew and
Marie alone. Her father aged hourly; his gray-lashed mouth used to
quiver with pain whenever he looked across the dinner-table at his wife.
To the girl, who did not understand that Aliette's abandonment of her
husband had evoked between these two the old specter of religious
differences, both parents appeared incredibly unforgiving, incredibly
out of their century.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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