There was dust on the shoes; and, here and there under the dust, a speck
of mud. A wire brush--thought Aliette--could cleanse dust and mud from
shoes. But no brush could cleanse the mud and the dust from one's mind.
Mind--what was mind? Her very soul felt itself besmirched. A Hermione's
curiosity, a Mary O'Riordan's ingratitude, the snubs of a Lady Siegfried
Moss--all these were flecks, undeserved yet ineradicable, upon the white
surface of one's purity.
She finished cleaning the shoes, and put them aside. Yet the symbolism
of them remained with her. It seemed a bitter and a cruel thing that she
must drag her feet through so much mire, that the wheels of all the
world's traffic must bespatter her because--because she had gone to her
mate openly and not in secret.
"Not for our sin," she thought, "the penalty; but for the candor of our
sinning"; and so fell to resenting the hypocrisy of a country which
winks tolerant eyes at "dancing-partners," "tame cats," "best boys,"
"fancy-men," and all the ragtag and bobtail of clandestine lovers whom
England excuses, tolerates, and even finds romantic. "Only for women
such as I am," thought Aliette, "for those of us who go openly to our
one lover, can England find neither excuse nor toleration."
"Nothing much wrong with the hound," pronounced a returning Ronnie; and
then, noticing the unhappiness in his lady's eyes, "Anything the matter,
darling?"
"No. Nothing in particular."
Silently Aliette changed her gown, pinned on her hat, and let him help
her with her furs. Silently they made their way downstairs. Outside it
was foggy. From the hideous hall-lamp, still illuminated, hung a sprig
of grimy mistletoe. Aliette looked up at the thing. "I hate Christmas in
London," she said.
As they waited for their train in the chill West Kensington station,
Ronnie, too, grew unhappy.
"Poor darling! I wish I could afford taxis," he said; and throughout the
journey to Bruton Street--thinking of their long-ago taxi-ride from
"Queen's"--a depression almost physical constrained both to silence.
The arrival at Bruton Street minimized a little of the morning's
depression. Julia was in her old form, jovially dictatorial. They had
brought presents for her: from Ronnie, a plain gold penholder, such as
she always used; from Aliette, a trifle of embroidery. _Her_ present,
newly-written, lay in an envelope on her writing-desk. She gave it to
Aliette with the command, "Don't open it till we've had lunch," just as
Kate came in to ask if she should bring in the meal.
3
The "lunch," laid--Aliette noticed--for five, consisted of grilled
soles, turkey with cranberry sauce, plum-pudding with cream and brandy,
mince-pies, and the whole old-fashioned indigestible paraphernalia.
Holly decked the Venetian wall-lights; mistletoe hung from the
chandelier. But there were ghosts at the feast. Try as they three might
to be cheerful, each felt conscious of awkwardness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account