"Ronnie," she pleaded, "why must you be so hard, so hostile? Mothers
don't need 'evidence.' At least, I don't. Not where you are concerned.
You said just now that this--this affair was none of my business. Isn't
it a mother's business to protect her child, to save him? Would it have
been fair for me not to have spoken? It isn't as if you couldn't trust
me----"
She broke off; and fear faded from the mind of her son. He was no longer
even angry. Once again he saw in Julia the "lonely old woman," dependent
solely on his affection; saw her--very radiant down the years--fetching
him, still a child, from his "Dame's School" in Welbeck Street; saw her
visiting him at Winchester, at the Varsity. Always, she had been the
confidante, the rather stern confidante, of his troubles. Surely, surely
when she knew the fineness of Aliette, when she knew how Aliette had
refused to let him hurt her, she would help him, help both of them?
"Of course I trust you. It isn't that. And if--if we'd decided anything
definitely, I'd tell you about it. But, as things are, I can't tell you
anything. You see that, don't you?"
"No. I don't," said Julia sternly--the mother, the religious woman and
the traditionalist in her alike roused to bay by the sudden frankness.
"It seems to me that, having admitted so much, you owe me the rest."
"But it wouldn't be fair----"
"I can't see why. Unless--unless there's something you--you're both
afraid of my knowing."
"Mater!" All the chivalry in him, revolting at the slur on Aliette,
urged full confession. "You've spoken with her. You can't possibly
imagine that she's the sort of woman who----"
Indignation dumbed him; and in his moment of dumbness the mother
realized her mistake, realized him in that hair-trigger state of emotion
when the slightest touch will loose the explosion; realized that he and
Aliette were on the verge of disaster, that Aliette was the wife of a
king's counselor, that she, Julia, must cut out her tongue rather than
say the word which would decide her son to wreck his career. But
realization came too late.
"You don't imagine that she--that we would do anything underhand," burst
out the boy in Ronnie.
"Of course not, dear." Almost Julia had it in her to hate the woman's
virtue. To love in secret was certainly a sin before God; but to commit
open adultery was a sin before both God and what remained of English
Society.
"And, mater," he bent forward boyishly, across the table, "I love her;
we love each other."
"Another man's wife?"
"Only in name." His teeth clenched. "Only in law."
She wanted to say, "You believe that?"; but instinct restrained her. She
grew frightened at the passion in Ronnie's eyes. He talked
on--vehemently. "I can't live without her. I won't. Why should I? What's
a divorce nowadays? Who cares? Except a few snuffy old priests. And half
of them don't know their own minds."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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