Dressing, the unsolved problem still haunted her mind. But already one
aspect of the problem had solved itself--the aspect of Ronnie. Ronnie's
word was not to be doubted. He loved her, he needed her--as she him. For
themselves, they must no more funk the issue of Hector divorcing her
than they had funked Parson's Brook. "Parson's Brook," thought Aliette.
"Was it an omen?"
And at that, ominously, her imagination concentrated on the other aspect
of the problem, on the public aspect; till it seemed as though a whole
host of people, his mother, her own parents, Mollie, James Wilberforce,
and her husband among them, were actually visible in the bedchamber;
till it seemed as though Aliette could actually feel the eyes of the
host on her, appraising the curves of her figure, the vivid masses of
her hair.
Fastidiously she tried to avoid the eyes; but the eyes would not be
gainsaid; they turned to her breast, seeking out Ronnie's letter, his
love-letter, which she had hidden there. The eyes were not yet hostile,
only appraising; but behind them--imagination knew--lurked souls ready
to kindle into hostility. "They're waiting," thought Aliette, "waiting
to know my decision. Yet the decision is mine--mine only." Imagination
petered out, leaving her mind a blank.
Caroline asked a question; and she answered it automatically, "Yes; the
green hat, please."
Her maid brought the hat--and, in a second as it seemed, she was
standing before the long cheval-glass, completely dressed, completely
ready to--leave Hector's house.
Looking back, Aliette now realizes that moment to have been the
definitive crossing of her Rubicon. Subconsciously, in that one
particular instant of time, her decision crystallized. She, who had
always hated "funking things," would not funk love. Love was either
worth the leap, or worth nothing. If nothing, then life's self was not
worth while. And the risk was the leaper's, only the leaper's.
Considering others, she had forgotten to consider herself.
She looked at that self in the long mirror.
Surely those brown eyes, burning deep into their own semblance, were
never fashioned for long perplexity; surely, they had been given her so
that she might visualize truth. Surely, those scarlet lips were not made
for lying; nor those slim feet for running away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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