And Ussher went round to the side of the car where Feemy was sitting,
and shook hands with her and the other girls. It was the first time
through the whole long morning he had come near her; indeed, it
was the first time he had seen her since his short visit at Mrs.
McKeon's, and very cruel poor Feemy had thought such conduct. Yet
now, when he merely came to speak a few words, it was a relief to
her, and she took it actually for a kindness. She felt herself so
fallen in the world--so utterly degraded--she was so sure that soon
every one else would shun her, that she shuddered at the idea of
his ill-treating or deserting her. He soon left her, having got an
opportunity of desiring her in a whisper to dance the first quadrille
with him, as he didn't think he should remain late at the ball.
As for Ussher himself, he would now have been glad if he had been
able to have got rid of Feemy altogether. As I said before, when he
started for Ballycloran on the day that he heard he had to remove his
quarters, he had by no means made up his mind as to what he would do:
it was not at that time at all his purpose to induce Feemy to leave
her home, or go with him in the scandalous manner he had at last
proposed. It was the warmth of her own affection, and the vanity
which this had inspired, or rather strengthened in his breast, that
had at the moment induced him to do so; and now he could not avoid
it. He had told his sporting friends of his intention, and if even he
could have brought himself to endure their ridicule by leaving her
behind him, he had gone so far that he could not well break off with
Feemy herself.
He was considerably bothered, however, by his position; he felt that
she would be a dreadful chain round his neck at the place he was
going to, and he began already to dislike her. Poor Feemy! she had
already lost that for which she had agreed to sacrifice her pride,
her family, her happiness, and herself.
Ussher now returned to his two friends, whose tempers were by no
means improved by the calamity which had occurred. Fred declared it
was all George's fault--that he had ridden his horse too fast or too
slow--that he had been too forward, or not forward enough. His temper
was by far too much soured by the loss of his own bets, to allow him
to console his brother for the more serious injury he had suffered.
At length, however, the three got into the drag, and returned to
Brown Hall. After dinner, each endeavoured to solace himself by no
stinted application to the bottle. George declared, that as he had
been able to drink nothing for the last three days, he'd make up for
it now, and that he wouldn't allow himself to be disturbed to dress
for the best ball that could be given in Ireland. Fred, however, was
not so insatiable, and at about eleven he and Ussher dressed and
again drove into Carrick.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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