Feemy soon left him, and went to bed, and Katty, who had been
dispatched to Drumsna, returned with her mistress's small box, and
a kind message from Mrs. McKeon:--"Her kind love to Miss Macdermot;
she hoped she had felt the walk of service to her, and she would call
some time during the next week." She had asked no questions of the
girl which could lead her to imagine that her mistress's departure
from Drumsna had been unexpected, nor had she said a word to her own
servants which could let them suppose that she was surprised at the
circumstance.
For five or six days Feemy remained quiet at Ballycloran--spending
the greater part of her time in her own room, but taking her meals,
such as they were, with her father; she had no books to read, and
she was unable to undertake needlework, and she passed the long days
much as her father did--sitting from breakfast till dinner over the
fire, meditating on the miseries of her condition. There was this
difference, however, between them--that the old man felt a degree
of triumph at his successful attempt to keep out his foes, whereas
Feemy's thoughts were those of unmixed sorrow. She had great
difficulty too in inducing Mary to leave her alone to herself. Had
that woman the slightest particle of softness in her composition,
anything of the tenderness of a woman about her, Feemy would have
made a confidant of her, and her present sufferings would have been
immeasurably decreased; but Mary was such an iron creature--so loud,
so hard, so equable in her temper, so impenetrable, that Feemy could
not bring herself to tell her tale of woe, which otherwise she would
have been tempted to disclose. She had, therefore, the additional
labour of keeping her secret from Mary's prying eyes, and Mary was
nearly as acute as Mrs. McKeon.
About noon, on Monday, Feemy was horror-struck at being told by Katty
that Father John was at the back door asking for her.
"Oh, Katty, tell him to wait awhile; say I'm ill, can't you--do,
dear!"
"Why, Miss, I towld him as how you war up, and betther, thank God,
since you war home."
It was clearly necessary that she should see the priest; but she
insisted on his not being shown in till she had dressed herself; and
she again submitted herself to those agonies which she trusted, for
a time, would hide her disgrace, which at last must become known to
all. When this was done, she seated herself on the sofa, and plucked
up all her courage to go through the painful conversation which she
knew she was to endure. She did not rise as he entered, but remained
on the sofa with the hectic tint on her face almost suffused into a
blush, and her hands clasping the calico covering of the cushion, as
if from that she could get more strength for endurance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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