I do not say that he looked forward to a probable death without a
shudder, or to so speedy a termination of his career, without a wish
that, unfortunate as it had been, it might be prolonged; but it was
the disgrace, and the circumstances of his fate, which made by far
the greater portion of his misery. Could he be but once quiet in his
grave, and have done with it all--be rid of the care, turmoil, and
uneasiness, he would have been content. Could he have been again
unborn--uncreated! He had once repined to Father John, that existence
had been for him a necessary evil; and though checked by the priest
for the impiety of the thought, was it odd if he often thought, that
he was one of those for whom it would have been better had they never
been born?
About three or four in the morning, he fell asleep, and was
awakened by Father John about eight; he dressed himself in his best
clothes--those in which he had been accustomed to go to mass--ate
his breakfast, and about ten o'clock was led out of gaol, handcuffed,
into the court-house. The gaol at Carrick-on-Shannon is not far from
the court-house, and as they are both built on a neck of land running
into the river, no portion of the town has to be traversed; but
yet there was a great crowd collected to see the poor fellow pass
by. This was the first of the bitter moments to which he had so
constantly looked forward for the last few months. At length,
however, he was in the dock, and here the high wooden palings, twelve
feet above the ground on which he had to stand, would screen him from
the view of all, save the miserable prisoners beside him and the
policemen who had brought him in,--until he should be called on to
take his place at the bar.
After waiting there for about half an hour, sitting on the rude
benches which surrounded the interior of the dock, with his eyes
fixed on the red lappets of the gaoler's coat which hung over the
palings as he sat upon the bar, he heard the noise of steps in the
court suddenly increased, and the sound of voices hushed; the judge
was taking his seat. Mr. Baron Hamilton, accompanied by a fashionably
dressed young gentleman with a white wand, entered the court at a
side-door, passed behind the jury-box, and sat down on the seat of
judgment, under the dusty red canopy which for many years had nodded
over the wisdom of Ireland's soundest lawyers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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