The MagicianMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
The Magician
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
Magic -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Fiction
The bell of Saint Sulpice was ringing for vespers. Margaret walked
slowly to the church, and sat down in the seats reserved in the
transept for the needy. She hoped that the music she must hear there
would rest her soul, and perhaps she might be able to pray. Of late she
had not dared. There was a pleasant darkness in the place, and its
large simplicity was soothing. In her exhaustion, she watched
listlessly the people go to and fro. Behind her was a priest in the
confessional. A little peasant girl, in a Breton _coiffe_, perhaps a
maid-servant lately come from her native village to the great capital,
passed in and knelt down. Margaret could hear her muttered words, and
at intervals the deep voice of the priest. In three minutes she tripped
neatly away. She looked so fresh in her plain black dress, so healthy
and innocent, that Margaret could not restrain a sob of envy. The child
had so little to confess, a few puny errors which must excite a smile
on the lips of the gentle priest, and her candid spirit was like snow.
Margaret would have given anything to kneel down and whisper in those
passionless ears all that she suffered, but the priest’s faith and hers
were not the same. They spoke a different tongue, not of the lips only
but of the soul, and he would not listen to the words of an heretic.
A long procession of seminarists came in from the college which is
under the shadow of that great church, two by two, in black cassocks
and short white surplices. Many were tonsured already. Some were quite
young. Margaret watched their faces, wondering if they were tormented
by such agony as she. But they had a living faith to sustain them, and
if some, as was plain, were narrow and obtuse, they had at least a
fixed rule which prevented them from swerving into treacherous byways.
One of two had a wan ascetic look, such as the saints may have had when
the terror of life was known to them only in the imaginings of the
cloister. The canons of the church followed in their more gorgeous
vestments, and finally the officiating clergy.
The music was beautiful. There was about it a staid, sad dignity; and
it seemed to Margaret fit thus to adore God. But it did not move her.
She could not understand the words that the priests chanted; their
gestures, their movements to and fro, were strange to her. For her that
stately service had no meaning. And with a great cry in her heart she
said that God had forsaken her. She was alone in an alien land. Evil
was all about her, and in those ceremonies she could find no comfort.
What could she expect when the God of her fathers left her to her fate?
So that she might not weep in front of all those people, Margaret with
down-turned face walked to the door. She felt utterly lost. As she
walked along the interminable street that led to her own house, she was
shaken with sobs.
“God has forsaken me,” she repeated. “God has foresaken me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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