In rapid, graphic words he told her of his lonely, friendless
boyhood; the long vacations, when other boys went to their homes and
he remained at the boarding-school; the envy with which he was wont
to listen to the recital of holiday sprees by his schoolmates.
Later, at college, his peculiar personality had marked him as one
apart, and, sensitive as he was, this aloofness he had accepted as a
quality of his destiny. Always of a romantic, imaginative, and
sentimental nature, expansiveness where his emotions were touched had
brought only ridicule, hence the gradual adoption of the mocking,
inscrutable pose.
"There were so many times," he told her, "when I couldn't help
expressing what I felt. People laughed at me. At first I fought;
then I learned that it saved a lot of wear and tear to laugh back ...
a little harder. So I took a pose that kept them guessing. People
like to laugh at you, and they don't particularly object when you
laugh at them, as long as they know what you are laughing at, and
that you really are laughing. But when they are puzzled to tell
whether you are really making fun of them, and if so at what, they
get shy of you and leave you alone. So I was left alone. How much
alone, nobody will ever know...."
The mist was in Hermione's eyes before he had finished. Applebo
interrupted his own narrative to look up and say:
"Where are you going?"
Hermione came back to earth with a sudden shock.
"I'm sure I don't know," said she. "To tell the truth, I don't even
know where we are. Do you?"
Applebo dropped his head and peered into the fog, and raised his
hand. Hermione stopped pulling and rested on her oars. Applebo
slightly turned his head to listen.
"I hear the swash of water ahead," he said. "That must be the far
side of the inlet."
"But I have been pulling more toward the mainland!" cried Hermione.
"I think that you have swerved a bit. There is scarcely any air
stirring, but what there is strikes me on the other cheek. Pull
ahead a little."
Hermione did so. Presently the swash of water on the rocks grew
plainly distinct, and, a few minutes later, a dark, irregular outline
reared itself through the fog.
"Rocks," said Applebo. "We are on the east side of the inlet."
"But I am sure that we are on the other side," said Hermione. She
raised her hand. "Listen...!"
From somewhere in the murk came the sound of eight bells.
"I must be getting back," said Hermione. "Which way?"
"Let me take the oars..."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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