Canada -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Canada -- Fiction
The entertainment would have come to a perfectly proper and harmonious
close had it not been for the unrestrained exuberance of Sam's humorous
qualities on the one hand and the complete absence of sense of humour
in Ernest Switzer on the other. The final number on the programme,
which was to be a series of humorous character sketches, had been left
entirely in Sam's hands and consisted of a trilogy representing the
characteristics as popularly conceived of the French Canadian habitant,
the humorous Irishman and the obese Teuton. Sam's early association
with the vaudeville stage had given him a certain facility in the use
of stage properties and theatrical paraphernalia generally, and this
combined with a decided gift of mimicry enabled him to produce a
really humorous if somewhat broadly burlesqued reproduction of these
characters. In the presentation of his sketch Sam had reserved to the
close his representation of the obese Teuton. The doings of this Teuton,
while sending the audience into roars of laughter, had quite a different
effect upon Switzer, who after a few moments of wrathful endurance made
toward the rear of the audience.
Meantime the obese Teuton has appeared upon the stage in a famished
condition demanding vociferously and plaintively from the world at large
sausage. But no sausage is available. At this point a stray dog wanders
upon the stage. With a cry of delight the famished Teuton seizes the
unfortunate cur and joyously announcing that now sausage he will have,
forthwith disappears. Immediately from the wings arise agonised canine
howlings with which mingles the crashing of machinery. Gradually the
howlings die into choking silence while the crash of the machinery
proceeds for a few moments longer. Thereupon reappears the Teuton,
ecstatic and triumphant, bearing with him a huge sausage, which he
proceeds to devour with mingled lamentations over his departed “hund”
and raptures over its metamorphosed condition. In the midst of this
mingled lamentation and rapture is heard in the distance upon a mouth
organ band the sound of the German national air. The Teuton is startled,
drops his sausage upon the stage and exclaiming “Der Kronprinz,” hastily
beats a retreat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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