England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"I don't suppose it will interest you," she went on, rousing herself
to be more explicit; "but I am giving up my work in London, and going
home for good."
There was the slightest perceptible pause before he spoke.
"Would you care to tell me why?"
"Because," said Katharine slowly, "I happened to find out, through a
friend, that I was a prig; and I am going home to try and learn not to
be a prig any more." She was looking straight at him as she finished
speaking. His face was quite incomprehensible just then.
"Was that a true friend?" he asked.
"People who tell us unpleasant things about ourselves are always said
to be our true friends, are they not?" she said, evasively.
"That is not an answer to my question; I was not dealing in
generalities when I asked it. But of course, you have every right to
withhold the answer, if it pleases you--"
"I don't think I know the answer," said Katharine. "I have always
found your questions too difficult to answer; and as to this one,--I
wish I could be sure that it was a friend at all." He moved his chair,
involuntarily, a little nearer hers.
"Can I do anything to make you feel more sure?" he asked.
She shook her head, and he moved away again. "Of course, you are the
best judge in the matter," he resumed, more naturally; "but it is
rather a serious step to take at the outset of your career, is it
not?"
"Perhaps," she said, indifferently; "but then, I am not a man, you
see. There is no career possible for a woman, because her feelings are
always more important to her than all the ambition in the world. A man
only draws on his feelings for his recreation; but a woman makes them
the whole business of her life, and that is why she never gets on. I
don't suppose you can realise this, because it is so different for
you. Everybody expects a man to get on; it is made comparatively easy
for him, and nobody ever disputes his way of doing it. A man can have
as much fun as he likes, as long as he isn't found out,--and it's easy
for a man not to be found out," she added, with a sigh.
"Easier than for a woman?" He spoke in the bantering tone that was so
familiar to her.
"Oh, a woman is dogged by detectives from her cradle, mostly drawn
from the ranks of her own sex. It is a compliment we pay ourselves, in
one sense. We dare not inquire into the private life of a man, because
of the iniquities he is supposed to practise; but there is so little
scandal attached to a woman's name, that we are anxious not to miss
any of it." She laughed at her small attempt to be frivolous, and Paul
brightened considerably. He could understand her when she was in this
mood, and his peace of mind was undisturbed by it.
"I suppose the man is still unborn who will take the trouble to
champion his sex, and explain that men are not all profligates before
they are married," he observed. "I wonder why women always think of us
as cads, and then take us for husbands. I can't think why they want to
marry us at all, though."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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