England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"I don't fancy he would care to come just yet," she said, demurely.
They were silent for a few moments. The Rector asked her presently if
she would like to go away again.
"I don't know; I don't seem to want anything. Ivingdon is intolerable;
but I said I would endure it for your sake, and it seems so feeble
merely to have failed again. After all, I haven't done the least atom
of good by giving up my work and coming home, have I?"
The Rector remembered many incidents in the last four months, and did
not contradict her; but his silence was so habitual to him that she
hardly noticed it.
"Self-sacrifice is all very well in theory," she went on
disconsolately, "but if nobody wants you to sacrifice yourself, what's
the good of it? I don't believe there is a single Christian virtue
that works properly, when you come to practise it; and I've wasted
four good months in finding it out. Oh, dear, what a mortal idiot I've
been! I wish you understood, daddy," she added wistfully.
"I'm not sure that I don't, Kitty," he said tentatively, and waited to
be contradicted.
"I believe you do; I believe you always have understood!" she cried.
"But I always expect too much from people, and I never can take any
one on trust. How I can be so unlike you is a mystery to me."
"You are like your dear mother, bless her," said the Rector with
unconscious humour; and they became silent again.
"Do you know," she went on presently, "if you'd promise not to mind,
daddy, I half think I'd like to go away again, for a while. I've still
got some money, you know, and I might try Paris, or some new place.
It seems hopeless to stay on here, and worry Aunt Esther by
everything I do or say; I know she considers me the cross she has to
bear, but it seems a waste of Christian resignation, doesn't it?"
"Paris?" said the Rector with animation. "By all means go to
Paris,--the most delightful place in the world! When I was a boy in
Paris-- Dear, dear, how it all comes back to me! That was before I was
ordained, to be sure; ah, those were days to be remembered! I can give
you an introduction to a friend of mine in Paris, Monsieur--Monsieur--
Ah, it's gone now. But I can tell you the names of all his books. A
charming fellow; knew everything and did everything; there was nothing
too daring for him in those days. You'll get on with him, Kitty; the
most delightful companion a man could have, in fact!" The old Rector
was laughing like a schoolboy at his reminiscences.
"That's all very well," said Katharine rather cruelly; "but what will
Aunt Esther say?"
"Ah," said the Rector, looking about him apprehensively, "there is
certainly Esther to be considered."
"Yes, there is!" sighed Katharine. And she added impetuously, "Poor
daddy! what a saint you must have been all these years! I wonder why I
never realised it before?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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