England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"Do you find it so amusing, then?" asked Katharine in a stifled tone.
He stepped up behind her, and twisted her round gently by the
shoulders, so that she was obliged to look at him. The hardness went
from her face, and she held out her hands to him instinctively.
"Paul," she said, piteously, "I couldn't help it. Aren't you a little
bit sorry for me? What have I done that I should like the wrong
person? Other girls don't do these things. Am I awfully wicked, or
awfully unlucky? Paul, say something to me! Are you very angry with
me? But I couldn't help it, I couldn't indeed! I have tried so hard to
make myself different, and I can't!"
He bit his lip and tried to say something, but failed.
"And after all," she added in a low tone, "when I had been schooling
myself to hate you for six weeks, I nearly went mad with joy when
Phyllis came and told me you were in the hall. Oh, Paul, I know I am
dreadfully foolish! Will you ever respect me again, I wonder?"
There was a quaint mixture of humour and pathos in her tone; and he
gathered her into his arms and kissed her tenderly, without finding
any words with which to answer her. She clung to him, and kissed him
for the first time in return, and forgot that she had once thought it
wrong to be caressed by him; just now, it seemed the most natural
thing in the world that he should be comforting her for the suffering
of which he himself was the cause. And her passionate wish to rouse
him from his apathy had ended in a weak desire to regain his tolerance
at any cost.
"You are not angry with me? I haven't made you angry?" she asked him
in an anxious whisper.
"No, no, you foolish child!" was all he said as he drew her closer.
"But it was dreadful of me to say all those things to you, wasn't it?"
"I like you to say dreadful things to me, dear."
She swayed back from him at that, with her two hands on his shoulders.
"Do you mean that, really? But--you _must_ think it dreadfully wicked
of me to let you kiss me, and to come and see you like this? It is
dreadfully wicked, isn't it? Oh, I know it is; everybody would say
so."
"I can't imagine what you mean. You are a dear little Puritan to me.
You don't know what you are saying. Come, there are all those things
you have got to tell me. I want to hear everything, please; whom you
have been flirting with, and all sorts of things. Now, it is no use
your pretending that you are going to hide anything from me, because
you know you can't!"
He had resumed his former manner with a rather conscious effort, and
drew her down beside him on the sofa. She tried to obey him, but she
could think of very little to say; and towards ten o'clock, Paul
looked at his watch.
"My child, you must go," he said. Katharine rose to her feet with a
sigh.
"I don't want to go," she said, reluctantly.
"Has it been nice, then?" he asked, smiling at her dejected face.
"It has been the happiest evening I have ever spent," she said,
looking away from him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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