"Wait a moment, Owen. Don't say any more, please. Remember there is my
side of the question to be considered." She faced him bravely. "You knew
from the start that I was not literary or learned--I told you before we
were married that I wasn't half clever enough for you, and you said it
didn't matter. Then, when I'd tried to help you and failed, you got Miss
Loder here in my place. You knew I disliked her, but you didn't know
what cause I had for my dislike."
Owen, silenced by her vehemence, stared at her speechlessly, and she
went on hurriedly.
"From the first she despised me. She saw I wasn't well-educated, that I
wasn't even in her class. Oh, I know she is connected with all sorts of
people, but she ought not to have let me see so plainly that she looked
down on me as a nobody. She never lost a chance of humiliating me. Why,
at lunch over and over again I've sat silent while you and she talked.
If I ventured to speak, she listened, quite politely, till I had
finished, and then went on talking as though I'd not spoken. For days
and days I hardly saw you. You were shut up there with her, and I was
all alone. I was no one to you, she was everyone. I was your wife, but
she was your companion. Everyone noticed how I was left alone; they all
knew you ignored me--I was miserable, but you never saw----"
"You--miserable, Toni?" Owen spoke abruptly.
"How could I be anything else? You treated me always as a child--an
unreasonable, ignorant child----"
"Well?" Owen interrupted her, but his tone was one meant to conciliate,
for suddenly he thought he saw a way to end this deplorable scene. "And
aren't you a child? A pretty, engaging child, I grant you--but
still----"
"No." It was her turn to interrupt, and white to the lips she faced him.
"I am not a child any longer--I was until a short time ago, but you have
changed me into a woman----"
"Come, Toni." Deceived by her quiet tone Owen laid his hand on her arm.
"Don't grow up too quickly. Let me have my little child-wife a bit
longer yet----"
She shook his hand off with a violence for which he was not prepared,
and he spoke angrily, his softer impulses dying away.
"Hang it all, Toni, you needn't repulse me as if I were a snake. You
_are_ a child, after all, and a jolly bad-tempered one at that!" It was
the first time he had ever used such a tone, and the girl's anger flared
up in reply.
"A child--of course--you think so, you always will--you and your
precious secretary!" As she spoke Toni snatched up a packet of
neatly-folded proofs from the table behind her. "This is her work, I
suppose. Oh, how I _hate_ her--and you--and the book! I'd like to
destroy it all--to burn it up--like that!"
With a passionate gesture she turned round and flung the bundle of
papers into the very heart of the fire blazing on the hearth behind her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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