The Making of Bobby Burnit: Being a Record of the Adventures of a Live American Young ManChester, George Randolph
General
The Making of Bobby Burnit: Being a Record of the Adventures of a Live American Young Man
Chester, George Randolph
Businessmen -- Fiction; Love stories; Young men -- Fiction
"You have hit the nail on the head," declaimed the Reverend Larynx
with a loud, hearty laugh, "but the _Bulletin_ will rouse them to a
sense of duty. Last night, Mr. Burnit, the Utopian Club was formed
with an initial membership of over seventy, and it selected a
candidate for mayor of whom the _Bulletin_ is bound to approve. Shake
hands with Mr. Freedom, the Utopian Club's candidate for mayor, Mr.
Burnit."
Bobby shook hands with Mr. Freedom quite nicely, and studied him
curiously.
He was one of the two who wore side-whiskers and a habitual Prince
Albert, and he displayed a phenomenal length from lower lip to chin,
which, by reason of his extremely high and narrow forehead, gave his
features the appearance of being grouped in tiny spots somewhere near
the center of a long, yellow cylinder. Mr. Freedom, he afterward
ascertained, was a respectable singing-teacher.
"Professor Freedom," went on the Reverend Doctor Larynx, still loudly
and heartily, "has the time to devote to this office, as well as the
ideal qualifications. He has no vices whatever. He does not even smoke
nor use tobacco in any form, and under his regime the saloons of this
town would be turned into vacant store-rooms, if there are laws to
make possible such action."
"I do not want the saloons put out of business," declared Bobby. "I
merely want them vacated at twelve every night, without exception."
When Doctor Larynx and his delegation went away in wrath the leader
was already preparing his sermon upon The Iniquity of the Sons of Rich
Fathers.
On the following day a delegation from the business men's club waited
upon him. The business men's club wanted a business administration.
This crowd Bobby handled differently. Upon his desk, tabulated in
advance against just such an emergency, he had statistics concerning
all the business men's administrations that had been tried in various
cities, and he submitted this statement without argument. It needed
none.
"Politics is in itself a distinct business," he explained. "You would
not one of you take up the duties of a surveyor without previous
training. The only trouble is that there are no restrictions placed
upon politicians. I propose to use them, but to regulate them."
He did not convert the delegation by this one interview, but he did by
cultivating these men and others of their kind separately. He ate
luncheons and dinners with them at the Traders' Club, played billiards
with them, smoked and talked with them; and the burden of his talk was
Chalmers. When he finally got ready for his campaign the business men
were with him unanimously, at least outwardly. Inwardly, there were
reservations, for the matter of special privileges was one to be very
gravely considered; and special privileges, at a price not entirely
prohibitive, was the bulwark of Stone's regime.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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