So saying she swept out of the room, throwing an offensively friendly
nod at Wilhelm as she passed. To the grinning Anne, who was waiting in
the hall to see her to her carriage, she said:
"Well, it looks serious this time--the countess is over head and ears.
But it is quite true, he is much better-looking than any of the others."
"Looks are not everything," returned Anne sagely, and her contemptuous
shrug conveyed plainly enough that she did not share her mistress'
taste.
Upstairs Pilar had rushed over to Wilhelm as soon as the countess
disappeared, and hid her face on his breast.
Wilhelm pushed her gently away, and said sadly:
"I have no right to reproach you, or, if I did, it would only be for
not having been open with me, although you boast of your extreme
truthfulness."
"Wilhelm," she entreated, clasping his hand in both of hers, "do not
judge me hastily. I might excuse myself, I might even deny it, but I am
not capable of that. When I told you the story of my life, I believed
honestly that I had made you a full confession. You shake your head? Is
it true--I swear it is! This man had entirely escaped my memory. Why, I
never loved him! It was in some part a childish folly, but principally
pity and perhaps little caprice on the part of a bored and lonely
woman. My heart had not the smallest part in it. He was given up by the
doctors, they thought he might die any day--in such a case one gives
oneself is one would offer him a cup of tisane--the action of a Good
Samaritan."
"Your defense," he said grimly, as he freed himself from her grasp, "is
far worse than any reproach I might bring against you. You never loved
him? Your heart had no part in this childish folly? That makes it all
the uglier--then it becomes unpardonable. Love alone could extenuate
such a fault to some degree."
He turned to leave the room, but she threw herself upon him and clung
to him.
"You are right--quite right, darling," her voice half-choked with
terror and excitement; "but forgive me--forgive me for the sake of my
love to you. That story belongs to the past, and the past is
buried--buried forever. I cannot believe myself that it is not all a
hideous dream--that it should be really true! It was not I--it was
another woman, a stranger whom I do not know--with whom I have nothing
in common. I was not alive then--I have only lived since you were mine.
Oh, why did you come so late?" And her wild, passionate words sank into
heartrending sobs.
He could not but be sorry for her. Was it wise, was it fitting to rake
up the past? Had he any right to call her to account for faults which
were not committed against him? She was good and pure now. She had not
broken faith with him--not even in her thoughts--for she had no eyes
for anybody in the world but him! He held out his hand to her.
"I will forget what I heard to-day," he said, "and do not let us ever
speak again of what has been."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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