stirred his being to the depths, was a mistake, but he could not bring
himself to definitely end the existing conditions. Hundreds of times he
was on the point of saying to Loulou that he did not think the tie
between them would secure their happiness, and offering her her
freedom, but as soon as he began his courage would fail him. If people
were present he was confused; if they were alone, her personal
appearance had the same charm for him, or rather it awoke in him the
remembrance of the delight and enthusiasm he had felt in the past, and
prevented him taking a step toward what would do grievous injury to her
girlish vanity, if nothing more.
Would this suspense and these fears, which made him so restless and
unhappy, always last? He might write a letter to Loulou, as he was
unable to say what he wished to in the light of her beautiful brown
eyes. Then he threw this idea aside as unworthy of consideration; he
could not simply dismiss a girl whom he loved by means of the post. The
simple thing to do seemed to wait, until, on the other side, they
should grow disgusted with him, and would tell him to go. This agreed
with his passive character, which was timidly inclined to draw back
before the rushing current of events, and preferred to be carried along
by them, just as a willow leaf is borne along on the surface of a
stream. Wilhelm could not help noticing that Herr von Pechlar was now a
favorite guest at the Ellrichs', that he made himself very fussy about
both mother and daughter, and that he had a very impertinent and
slightly triumphant air when he met him. He would only have to leave
the coast clear for Pechlar and all would be at an end.
Paul Haber, who was in Berlin again, and paying a great deal of
attention to Fraulein Marker, was grieved and really angry at the turn
his friend's romance had taken. He knew through Fraulein Marker how
Herr von Pechlar was trying to supplant Wilhelm, and that he took every
opportunity of making abominably false representations about him. There
ought to be no more foolish loitering about. It was unpardonable to let
the golden bird fly away so easily. Once open the hand, and she might
be off. If Fraulein Ellrich was beginning to flirt with Pechlar, it was
quite excusable, as Wilhelm's coolness might well drive her to it. But
if he stuck to his absurd whim, that she was too superficial for
him!--as if every girl were not superficial, and as if a man cannot
educate her to whatever level he pleases--then in heaven's name let him
make an end of it all, or the affair would become ridiculous and
contemptible. But other considerations had weight with Wilhelm.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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