Michael had time for breathing space, and to consider whether the
course he was pursuing was wisdom or not. That it was madly exciting, he
knew--but where was it leading to? What did she mean? Did she feel at
all? or was she one of the clever coquettes of her nation, a more
refined Daisy Van der Horn--just going to lead him on into showing his
emotion for her, and then going to punish and humiliate him? He must put
a firmer guard over himself, for propinquity and the night were exciting
influence, and the cruel fact remained that it was too late in any case.
Henry's words this afternoon had cast the die forever;
he--Michael--could not for any personal happiness be so hideously cruel
to his old friend. Better put a bullet through his own brain than that.
Whatever should develop on this night, and he meant to continue the
conversation as it should seem best to him, and if she fenced too
daringly with him to take the button off the foils--but whatever should
come of it it should not be allowed to alter his intention of to-morrow
instructing his lawyers in Edinburgh to begin divorce proceedings at
once. He was like a gambler who has lost his last stake, and who still
means to take what joy of life he can before the black to-morrow dawns.
So, in the ten minutes or so while Sabine had turned from him, he laid
his plans. He would see how much he could make her feel. He would dance
with her later and then say a final farewell. If she were hurt, too, he
must not care--she had made the barrier of her own free will. The
person who was blameless and should not suffer was Henry. Then he began
to look at Sabine furtively, and caught the outline of her sweet,
averted head. How irresistibly attractive she was! The exact type he
admired; not too intellectual-looking, just soft and round and babyish;
there was one little curl on her snowy _nuque_ that he longed to kiss
there and then. What a time she was talking to the other man! He would
not bear it!
And Sabine, while she apparently listened to her neighbor, had not the
remotest idea of what he said. The whole of her being was thrilling with
some strange and powerful emotion, which almost made her feel faint--she
could not have swallowed a morsel of food, and simply played with her
fork.
At the first possible pause, Michael addressed her again:
"Since you knew the lady in life who is now my ghost--and she told you
of Binko--did she not say anything else about her visit to Arranstoun or
its master?"
"Nothing--it was all apparently a blank horror, and she probably wanted
to forget it and him."
"He made some kind of an impression upon her, then--good or bad, since
she wanted to forget him--" eagerly.
Sabine admitted to herself that the umpires might have called "_touche_"
for this.
"It would seem so," she allowed, with what she thought was generosity.
"That is better than only creating indifference."
"Yes--the indifference came later."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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