Glenning felt that he should add a word, but somehow it wouldn't come.
Julia's voice had sounded unfamiliar to his ears. He had been keenly
conscious of the swift change in her after the horse had passed. He had
seen her start to speak, then close her lips, and he had wondered what
the unuttered words could have been. Then he grew troubled as he stood
silently by her side, watching her averted face. A shadow had fallen
upon it, blotting out the bright expression of joy. He saw it change as
a sun-kissed landscape might when a cloud veils the sun. Her sweet mouth
had relaxed into a pathetic little droop; the rich undercolour had
receded from her cheeks; her eyes had shaped themselves to a look of
weary sadness. Even her rounded, pliant figure seemed to lose part of
its grace, and to sag of its own weight. He saw the breeze lifting the
little curls upon her neck and ruffling the waving hair behind her ears.
Then suddenly that which had been slumbering in him woke. It woke with a
thrust like a keen knife-blade, sending a sharp quiver of pain
throughout his body. Up, up it fought its way, ruthlessly tearing a path
for its progress, and a voice spoke in his soul. It was his conscience
which he had numbed, and smothered, and choked, free at last, and with a
merciless goad in its hand. He saw how wrong he had been. He saw that,
physically brave as he knew himself to be, morally he had been a coward!
He had let her suffer--her, whom he told himself he loved! He had weakly
remained negative, drifting with the days, when a positive course was
the only one consistent with honour. He had shielded his own feelings,
and sacrificed hers. He had dwelt in guilty security, and had stretched
her, sinless, upon the altar! How sordid, and cruel, and selfish he had
been! How he would have condemned this policy in anyone else!
Slowly they walked homeward through the magic afterglow. The light
faded, and grew dimmer and dimmer, and the stars came out. Neither said
a word. From the wooded upland the country about looked phantom-like,
unreal. Far off a dog barked. Nearer at hand, in the branches of one of
the oak trees about them, a screech-owl stirred, and babbled its harsh
call. Away in the hollow where the race track lay a light gleamed at
the stables. The twigs cracked under their feet, and the dry leaves
rustled as they passed among them. It grew darker. Julia caught the toe
of her boot on something, and lurched forward. John grasped her by the
arm, and quickly righted her. How good it was to feel his strong fingers
drawing her away from harm! Then he took her hand without speaking, and
thus they went on.
Later they stood at the portico steps.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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