His _délire des grandeurs_, his melancholy accompanied by morbid rage,
born of the idea of persecution, had really shown themselves in him from
childhood. At six years of age he believed that his parents wished to
abandon him. As a student he was always morose. One of the things which
caused him most trouble was noise, especially when produced by the whips
of drivers. “To be sensitive to noise,” he wrote, “is one of the
numerous misfortunes which discount the privilege of genius.” “_Qui non
habet indignationem_,” he wrote, “_non habet ingenium_.” But his
indignation was excessive, a morbid rage. One day when his landlady was
chattering in the anteroom he came out and shook her so violently that
he broke her arm, and was fined for damages. He was genuinely
hypochondriacal. He was driven from Naples by the fear of small-pox,
from Verona by the idea that he had been poisoned by snuff, from Berlin
by the dread of cholera, and previously by the conscription. In 1831, he
had a fresh attack of restlessness; at the least sound in the street he
put his hand to his sword; his fear became real suffering; he could not
open a letter without suspecting some great misfortune; he would not
shave his beard, but burnt it; he hated women and Jews and philosophers,
especially philosophers, and loved dogs, remembering them in his will.
He reasoned about everything, however unimportant; about his great
appetite, about the moonlight, which suggested quite illogical ideas to
him, &c. He believed in table-turning, and that magnetism could heal his
dog’s paws and restore his own hearing. One night the servant dreamt
that she had to wipe some ink stains; in the morning he spilt some, and
the great philosopher deduced that “everything happens necessarily.”
He was contradiction personified. He placed annihilation, _nirvana_, as
the final aim of life, and predicted (which means that he desired), one
hundred years of life. He preached sexual abstinence as a duty, but did
not himself practise it. He who had suffered so much from the
intolerance of others, insulted Moleschott and Büchner, and rejoiced
when the Government deprived them of their professorial chairs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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